I love stories that have been well crafted such that they are a joy to listen to again and again. One such story that has been told for thousands of years, and still proves relevant today, is the Biblical story of David and Goliath.

I heard it as a child and it encouraged me that the young can win in the world of those much older. I heard it as a student from a family of meagre means, and it spoke to me that winning when competing among those with greater resources is possible. I have heard it used in sports where the underdog is believed to be able to cause an upset to the reigning champion. I have heard it in business to describe the agility of smaller companies to get to market with new products and capture a market share greater than the conglomerates.

But doesn’t hearing the same story become boring and stale? The more I thought about this, the more I realised that the story is never the same, because, every person that told it brought a fresh perspective to it based on how the story had spoken to thier circumstances. Also, each time I listened to it, I was listening from a new perspective based on my current position in life.

Don’t be too quick to dismiss the same old story especially when it is being told by someone you have never heard it from before. Be eager to listen to it again when you have also made a significant change in any area of your life. The power of the story is not only in the story itself, but in the people that tell it and in the way you hear it.

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Facing reality

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 20, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Have you ever looked into the mirror and not liked what you saw? I heard the story of a man who had been out in the wild for many days, and when he finally had a chance to look in the mirror, he did not like what he saw, so he broke the mirror. Someone rightly pointed out to him that it wasn’t the mirrors fault.

I remember the first time I heard my voice being played back to me from a tape recorder. I was absolutely shocked at how I sounded, and would have denied that it was me if I hadn’t been part of the recording session. Getting to find out what you are really like, whether through a mirror, a media recording, or the feedback of friends and family, can be a very humbling experience. Our natural inclination is to shrink from that moment.

When it comes to facing the reality of a situation, we are prone to behave like we would when we come to face ourselves. There is a reluctance to take it head on, or maybe to even deny it, but it will not go away or get any better just because we do not acknowledge it. Like the guy that broke the mirror, we must be reminded that it is not the mirrors fault, and the situation will not change until we do.

Reality is a reflection of where our journey in life has brought us, so even though we may not like it, or we wish it away, the best thing we can do is to face it and understand what changes we need to make so that we are ready to walk through the sometimes difficult path set before us.

Buckle down and face your realities, as many have proven through thier own experiences that no matter how bad it looks, it will get better, you will find a way through it as long as you refuse the cut the corners of facing your realities head on.

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The small wins

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 19, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

I listened to a 9 minute presentation by New York Times best selling author, Steven Kotler, on the prescription for transformation. Having worked as a journalist, he summarised what the lifestyle of those who have proven to be excellent in thier field looked like.

He spent about a minute in the presentation to share the secret with us. They get up in the morning, take a shower, have something to eat, check through thier plans, make calls, have conversations, carry out thier daily tasks, and then repeat the same process everyday until they pull off something spectacular that has been in thier plans.

So, you may ask, is there any wisdom to what he shared? The whole talk was only 9mins, and the secret of excellence was only 1 minute, how effective can it be?

That is the whole point. Before we become a ‘big’ success, we must master the small routines. You must have heard this, “what you do daily is what you become permanently”. So, success is not an event, but it is in essence a habit.

Practice winning at the small things like making one call, building one relationship, reading one page, learning one thing, solving one problem etc. Keep doing it as often as you can, preferably daily, and before you know it, your small wins will compound to make you hugely excellent and massively successful.

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Spend to your advantage

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 18, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

As humans, our natural tendency is to focus on the negative. One study done by phycologist revealed that we are 80% more likely to think negative thoughts than positive ones in the course of a day. This is a major reason why we are quick to identify our weaknesses, and then spend our energies trying to mitigate them, hide them, or explain them away.

In light of that, expenses get a very bad rep in business and financial planning. The reality however is that expenses cannot be avoided. Life is designed to have them. If you breathe in, then you must breathe out. If you eat, then you must relieve your body of the waste.

Whether you like it or not, you will have to spend and expend. So if it is a part of the process of life, just like we do with everything else, we must learn to use it to our advantage.

Expenses can harm us if they are not properly planned, but they can also greatly enhance us if carefully considered. A car is popularly described as a diminishing asset and could be termed as a bad expense, however, if it is your means of movement to places that add value to your life, then that expense is to your advantage. An expense on items of higher value, in thier category, is an advantage because as the saying goes, buy cheap, buy twice. Another thing to note is that cheap doesn’t always mean less value, and expensive doesn’t always mean better value. Learn to broker the right price for the value you get.

Expenses are necessary and will always happen whether we do it willingly or are eventually forced to. If that is the case then it is worthwhile becoming great at spending to your advantage.

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Popular Opinion

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 17, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Having the masses support you on your actions doesn’t actually validate that what you are doing is right. It might be a case of an ideology that is popular, or that you have attracted the attention of those that think the way you do.

If you take a moment to really consider it, you may realise that there are probably just as many people in the world that oppose your view as there are that agree with you.

What is right is right, and doesn’t need the support of the masses to be true. Sometimes you might have to stick it out alone or with very meagre support, but if you are on the right path, then the truth will in time become too apparent for anyone to ignore. The Wright brothers were not supported, even by thier own father, on thier attempts to make men fly, but they ended up pulling it off.

Popular opinion is transient and it is a dangerous barometer to hinge one’s convictions upon. History is full of examples of those who were popular because of thier ideologies, like Hitler, who ended up being severely wrong in what he sought to accomplish.

Be responsible for your won thoughts and actions and be convinced in yourself that you are doing what is right. Seek counsel in the right places, and not in the face of popular opinion.

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A shadow of myself

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 16, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

You have probably heard the expression of one being a shadow of thier former self. It signifies a decline in the characteristics that made them who they were, for instance, a bubbly personality could become quite bland and pessimistic. It is usually as a result of a series of traumatic events that people get reduced to a shadow of themselves.

A shadow only occurs where there is an entity that has moved, in relation to the light, in such a way that it obscures the light and casts a shadow. When the position of the entity in relation to the light is right, you will actually find no shadows, just like when the sun is shinning directly above.

To get out of the shadows, we must move into the light. The substance and truth of who you are is real, unlike a two-dimensional shadow. You are not what you have been through, you are not what you have been trained to do, you are not what you have, and you are not your past, however good or bad. All these are shadows that are only able to represent the real you much less accurately than you are.

If you are casting a shadow, then that means there is a substance of you. If you are casting a shadow, it also means you have a direct line to the light no matter how far away it is. All is not lost therefore, so, start making a move back into the light, into the places that show you up for who you really are. Start getting around people that inspire you again. Don’t let the final phases of your life be lived on the fringes, but get back on your centre stage and live out the beauty of who you really are.

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Intervention

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 15, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

I remember back in my secondary school days when certain trouble makers, who had more talk than action, were challenged to take it outside, they would come out with a group of friends who were there to save them by holding back both parties from actually kicking it off. You see, the troublesome one had figured out that they needed an intervention to keep them from being beat up when they had taken on a little bit more than they could handle.

From time to time in life we do take on more than we can handle, and without timely intervention we can get beat up, and sometimes really badly too. A few years back I struggled on a new job I got, and for weeks I did not bring up my issues with a mentor that could help me because I was trying to figure it out on my own. When I eventually spoke to him, he had loads of advise that could have saved me days of agonising over a very difficult situation, but I never sought the intervention in good enough time.

What are you facing now that is threating to swallow you up? It might be your health, a relationship, a business, a course of study, your finances or some other future plan. You need to reach out to your circle of friends and family who are able to hold you, and keep that situation at bay long enough for you to come out of it unscathed. Never let yourself be too far away from who and where you can get an intervention.

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Workman or work-robber

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 14, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Just recently, I had the unpleasant experience of having to deal with a company that provided a quote to fix my central heating in my property. The process to engage them was smooth, and the engineer came out as expected. However, when he analysed the problem, he pointed out several things that were wrong and gave a quote of over £2000 to fix the fault.

As the price was way more that expected I sought a second company to quote on the job. They came out, analysed the problem in minutes and charged only £300 to get the new part to repair the one thing that was broken. The first company then sent an invoice and they decided to charge me £250 for coming out to assess the problem as opposed to the £99 advertised on thier website.

I felt robbed in this situation and taken advantage of by this company who were less than honest in any part of thier value proposition to thier customers. They wielded this power like a weapon because they provide a service that the customer could never carry out for themselves. As I seethed in anger, it crossed my mind to think about ways that I might have been a work-robber rather than a workman with the skills I have to offer to my clients, employers or even family and friends.

It is true that our skills, knowledge, expertise, and experience to solve a problem for others can indeed become the very tools that we use to short-change them. I can’t do much about how this company has robbed me, but it has made me more determined to show up with my skill as a genuine workman and not a work-robber.

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Bring your whole self

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 13, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

When we started to discover ourselves, there were family or friends back then who would always pick on some quirk we had, and use it to make fun of us. This usually led us to hide those aspects of ourselves and put on masks to prevent ourselves from being mocked.

There is always the tendency to never let down our guard in environments we do not feel comfortable, or among people we do not trust. We are mostly truly ourselves when we are in the safe space of our home, so, we frequently go out there leaving a part of ourselves at home.

Have you noticed that you enjoy people a lot more when you get to know who they really are? Or, you do your best work when you are not feeling conscious about yourself?

Think about the benefits of creating a safe space for people to be themselves around you. It could just be what you need to deepen a friendship, get greater corporation on a project or business venture, or, get some really meaningful advice on what to do next.

Practise bringing your whole self with you wherever you go and maybe you might just inspire others to do the same.

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I’m not a bad person

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 12, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

It’s amazing how children are quick to label others as bad when they learn the concept of being good or bad. If you have been around children, you would be used to conversations where you have been brought in as an arbitrator, similar to the ones I have with my sons. “Daddy, my brother is bad.” When I ask why, the answer would be, “He did not allow me to play with his computer game”.

Have you ever been in a situation where you have been labelled as the bad person because someone didn’t like your style or way of doing things? Or, maybe they just had a difference of opinion with you over an issue. Maybe you are actually the one who has labelled others as bad due to similar reasons.

It takes maturity to not brand people we don’t agree with as bad, and it is something that we must constantly remind ourselves about. Differences with others is not a disaster, in fact, it helps us to consider things we never would have and subsequently come up with a more robust approach to handling life.

Resist the temptation to quickly stereotype others knowing that you also are not a bad person for the different views that you hold.

PREVIOUS POSTSPage 9 of 63NEXT POSTS

The same old story

Facing reality

The small wins

Spend to your advantage

Popular Opinion

A shadow of myself

Intervention

Workman or work-robber

Bring your whole self

I’m not a bad person