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December 2020
Discipline to use time
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November 2020
Do you use imagination?
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November 2020
Grasping reality
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November 2020
The starting attitude
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November 2020
It’s how you feel
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40+FAB Blog

When you get your first job, there is a feeling of excitement that all that money will be yours at the end of the month. Unfortunately, that is not the case, for the tax man will take his dues, your landlord or mortgage company will come for their share, and all the utility companies will send you their bill.

Just like with money, so also it is with time. The 24-hours we have all been given do not all belong to us. The family, friends, hobbies, work, personal projects etc. will all demand thier fair share.

As we learnt to have healthy habits with our money, like saving, investing, and giving, so we should apply the same discipline to our time.

With money it is said, you cannot rob Peter to pay Paul, so also with time you will soon discover that the time you hoarded away will come back to bite you.

Learn to be disciplined with your time and to allocate it in the most efficient ways so that you reap the full benefits of the free gift of time.

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40+FAB Blog

Humans, among all the other life forms, are the only ones known to have the ability to imagine. Imagination is the ability to form new ideas, images or concepts of external objects not present to the senses. In other words, you are creating things in your mind that have never existed before.

With imagination, we can combine what we know with what we don’t know to create a future. Imagination therefore, just like money, is neither good nor bad, but it takes on the nature of the one using it. Creativity is helped by imagination, but worry is also fuelled by imagination. You can work up a healthy excitement and expectation based on a future you have imagined, or you could succumb to intimidation and trepidation of tomorrow informed by what you have imagined.

There are many restrictions we face in life and we can be penalised for breaking those restrictions, like over speeding or building without the right planning permission. But when it come to our mind and how we use our imagination, there are absolutely no limits other than those we place on ourselves.

Are you using your imagination? How are you using it? What are you using it for? Start to dream big today and make it a conscious decision to use your imagination every day to create a positively brighter future for you and all yours.

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40+FAB Blog

Movies like The Truman Show and The Matrix, though different genres, were gripping narratives questioning the same thing, our perception of reality. The first movie looked at the life of a man who was born into a TV show and lived a life carefully crafted by the producers, while the other movie took us on the journey of a man who discovers humanity is trapped in a simulated world created by powerful computers.

What we call reality is really a subjective view of how we see the world based on our conditioning, the upbringing, beliefs and values we have. So how then do we get a view that is more objective than the one we hold?

I think it starts with awareness and allowing yourself to accept that there might be another reality out there different to yours. Talking to other people and listening to their views without trying to judge them will certainly help.

The closer we get to understanding reality for what it is and not only for what we perceive it to be, the stronger our convictions and the more accurate our responses to life would be.

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40+FAB Blog

Have you heard the saying, “All’s well that ends well”? John C. Maxwell, leadership expert is fond of saying, “All’s well that begins well”. How you start a thing could very well predict how you finish it. I would normally say it this way, the starting attitude could be the winning attitude.

If you remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare, then permit me to point out what could have been their starting attitudes.
The Hare probably felt really insulted to be paired in a race with a tortoise and must have suggested to the tortoise that he didn’t stand a chance. Based on his overconfidence he possibly planned to have a meal and a nap along the way, thinking he would still have the time to finish ahead of the Tortoise. The Tortoise on the other hand must have had an attitude to progress slowly but surely, and not to become discouraged or intimidated by the ability of the Hare.

At the end of the race, the one with a better starting attitude, the Tortoise, won the race. Most times, the right starting attitude will outperform ability. Look into your attitudes today and find out what your starting attitudes are and be sure to adjust them to achieve good success.

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40+FAB Blog

Would you ever consider someone spitting at you anything but an outright insulting, hateful and disgusting act?

As a young boy, I was quite curious about the weird and wonderful things of life, and I spent many hours reading encyclopaedias, learning about animals and cultures of different countries. I came across a tradition of the Maasai tribe of Kenya, and for them, spitting is a sign of respect. It is done to greet each other, to welcome or bid farewell to a friend, to clinch a bargain and to wish someone good luck.

If someone from the Maasai tribe spat at you, you would most likely feel really disgusted and insulted, and if you spat back at them in annoyance, they would possibly feel welcomed and accepted.

So, based on what we have been exposed to and what we have learnt as right or wrong, we interpret what happens to us and react to it according to the way we feel about it.

Why not pause and take stock of how you feel about the actions of others towards you, interrogating your reasons for feeling that way. If you take responsibility for your feelings, then you would be able to see more clearly the action of others for what it is and not for what you think it is.



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40+FAB Blog

It’s funny how we can think and make better decision when our mind feels uncluttered. When you consider the expanse of the human mind to imagine, it is hard to comprehend that such, almost infinite, vastness could nearly grind to a halt by a couple of disturbing or overwhelming thoughts.

It’s not only what we think that could cause clutter, the environment around us also contributes to this. Noisy children, a cluttered house, a cluttered work area, inconsistent schedules etc. could block the mind from focus.

There are two main ways to deal with the clutter, the first one involves tidying up. Take a look at everything and decide where they should go then put them there, whether mentally of physically. The second way to deal with it is to ignore it and carry on with life as if the clutter were not there.

Depending on your personality type, you may either do something about the clutter or just ignore it so you can function at your best. Take out time to understand how you respond when faced with any type of clutter and how you would clear your head, for such knowledge is vital for you to keep up progress in you life.

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40+FAB Blog

Professor William James, the notable 19th century American psychologist said this “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not. Thus the sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness, if our cheerfulness be lost, is to sit up cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there.”

So many times, we are waiting for something or someone to make the first move, for what we are hoping for, before we respond. Sadly it seldom ever happens, and we carry on in a state we would rather not be, because something out of our control did not do what we wanted.

How we feel and what we get out of life largely depends on what we have decided. Remember the story of the man who complained because he had no shoes, yet he met a man without legs who was much happier than he. If you choose to be optimistic, then no matter what befalls, you will find a way to focus on the bright side.

If life throws you lemons, make the first move and turn them into lemonade. If no one seems to care for you, make the first move and care for someone else. If none of your efforts on your projects seem to be working, make the first move and seek advice from an expert in that field.

Life is too short to get caught up in feelings and situations that are not working for you. Don’t wait around for something or someone to take action to get you out of there, you make the first move to change your situations and circumstances to what you would rather have them be. You will realise that as you move, everything that contributes to your change will begin to move.

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40+FAB Blog

I had an interesting conversation today which reinforced for me that you can’t necessarily look at the quantity of work one has done as a sign of achievement, until you compare it to what they are actually capable of.

My 8 year old son always protests when he is not recognised for doing just the same amount of tidying as his 5 year old brother and we have to point out to him that he is capable of much more than his brother so we expect much more from him.

It is also worth calling out also that we tend to compare ourselves with others and their achievements, however, the only comparison worth making is that we make to ourselves. Only you know when you put in half of what you were capable of but were then praised as someone who had given their all.

You owe it to yourself, and the world around you, to give the very best that you are capable of in every situation you find yourself.

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40+FAB Blog

I read an article sometime back that stated that some of the wealthiest men on earth, like Jeff Bezos, limit the amount of decisions they make in a day and those decisions are made within a specific time window when they are at their best.

In case you haven’t noticed, decisions are quite tasking to make, for one must consciously think about all options, pros and cons, and then choose a course of action. It sounds simple when put down like that, but in reality all the processing capacity of our brains is actually fully loaded and being used at that moment. This is why it is said that Mark Zuckerberg has a wardrobe full of the same clothes so that he doesn’t have to make a decision on what to wear.

This is where the importance of habit comes in. Through a time period of disciplining ourselves, we can turn our decisions into habits so that those decisions become automatic and we don’t use up thinking energy to do them daily. Take for instance brushing your teeth in the morning, most of us never think about it anymore, we just do it.

You don’t have to decide on integrity or honesty with every situation you face, just make it a habit and you won’t even consider the alternative. Reading to gain knowledge, waking up early, eating the right diet, exercising, being optimistic, being helpful, communicating properly and all other winning attitudes don’t have to be decided upon daily if you work them into habits.

When you find a practice that is good for you, turn it into a habit quickly so that you free up your decision making abilities for when you need it most.

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40+FAB Blog

In the world we live in today, listening has never been so important. We are constantly badgered with information from all kinds of sources and channels. This has severely impacted our attention span and I read in one report that the average attention span of today is only 8 seconds, compared to 12 minutes in the eighties.

With all of these, it is hard to listen or to be listened to, and the lack of listening has created a dimension of problems in all the relationships we find ourselves in, be it with family, friends or work colleagues.

So what can be done to improve our listening? Well, we just need to observe the age old common sense rules of listening by firstly, listening to understand what the other person says means to us, then preparing to ask questions to clarify our understanding. Secondly, we must listen to understand the other person completely and not to only answer to what we have heard. A third thing and possibly the one requiring the most maturity is listening to their body language, tone of voice and emotions.

You will find that doing these things builds on your emotional intelligence and helps you to become a wonderful communicator and the kind of person everyone would love to be around.

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