40+FAB Blog

It seems there are not too many precious things that lie on the surface in plain sight. Think about it, precious metals and precious stones are found deep in the earth. The black gold which powers most of our world is also found deep in the earth.

In order to get food, we need to dig to get the seed into the ground before it gives us a harvest. The trees or plants with deeper roots last longer and give us more valuable crop than those with shallow roots.
Even with seafood, the good stuff is not really hanging around the surface, but are at depths that require effort to be brought out.

What about you? There is much more value inside of you than meets the eye and it can only come out if you will dig. Dig deep in your thinking, dig deep in your efforts, dig deep with your performance, dig deep in your relationships, dig deep in places where it seems like you have come up against a block, keep going just a little bit longer as you will soon hit a vast reservoir of untapped ability.

40+FAB Blog

The American poet and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “It is one of the beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. To help the young soul, to add energy, inspire hope, and blow the coals into a useful flame; to redeem defeat by new thought and firm action: This, though not easy, is the work of divine man.“

It is truly divine to be the person that helps another for what I find is that whatever effort is made to help one, has the potential to help all.
There are countless stories of people who developed medicines, equipment, and other inventions to help their loved one. We are thankful to them today because what was made to help one has indeed helped millions.

The same can be true for the one who wants to hurt one. Anything devised to hurt one has the potential to hurt all.

We need to keep our focus on helping others even if it is just the one. The miracle of helping never remains singular, it always goes beyond the one and truly proves that helping one is helping all.

40+FAB Blog

Growing up in the 80’s was fun, especially when it came to time for treats. Parents back then in Lagos, Nigeria would always try to teach us children the discipline of delayed gratification, so when they brought out the sweets and said you can only have one, we would ask why? They would say because you only have one mouth. I am not sure who started it, but the children would reply, but I have two eyes!

The quest or desire for more is always based on what one can see. It’s funny the children never said I have two hands therefore I can handle more, or I have two ears or two feet.
Dreaming for something greater is never limited to any current ability you may have. As long as you can see it, then you can desire it.

Having two eyes can be a blessing or a curse. A blessing if we use it to aspire to a future that is better for us while adding value to others in the process. A curse if it is a covetous eye that wants everything others have to the detriment of everyone it comes in contact with.

I believe there is enough for every eye to see, limitless horizons for every heart to dream, infinite worlds for every mind to imagine. Understanding this helps you to realise the excitement that awaits you in life, so, when opportunities come to place something in your hand, you can blurt out like a little child, “I have two eyes”.

40+FAB Blog

Problem solving is defined as the process of finding solutions to difficult or complex issues.
The second part of that definition sounds a little bit like the world we live in and how we navigate it. Yes, life could be described as difficult and complex sometimes.

We however are prone to trying to oversimplify the issues of life. For instance, it is mind boggling to realise that only 1% of the worlds population owns about half of the wealth in the world. Some try to boil it down to a few factors that make them that wealthy like, “they work hard”, implying others are lazy, or “they are intelligent”, implying others are ignorant, or “they live in a fair society” etc.

The reality is that complex problems cannot be defined as being simple, or they will never get solved. This is where people surrender the issues to fate and their Moto becomes “It is so because it was meant to be”.

Problem solving is a key ability to help us grasp the complexity of issues and begin to come up with plans to break it down and address it. Like they say you can eat an elephant one bite at a time. A good problem solver is able to take the mystery out of issues and develop easy to follow steps to deal with that issue.
Problem solving has been on the list of top 10 skills required by employers for that last few years.

The preemptive problem solver, is one who is ahead of the curve of what life can throw their way by always developing their problem solving skills and associating with people of like mind.

Find out how to be a better problem solver because it will help you in all aspects of life.

40+FAB Blog

In striving to be a better person we need to learn how to handle personal weaknesses. Some are of the school of thought that believe you must improve your weaknesses and turn them into strength, others believe you must manage your weakness instead and give focus to your strengths.

Whichever way you lean, there is an acknowledgement that something needs to be done about a weakness. This takes a learning process and with all learning, you first get a mental knowledge of the what to do. Just because you know it mentally, doesn’t mean you know it practically.

Too many of us know about anger management, yet we still loose our temper in uncontrollable ways. Does this make you want to give up? If so, remember that learning is a process and you will stumble a few times before you perfect the art.

Mental knowledge of how to handle a weakness must be put into practice, and practice must be put to repetition in order to gain mastery. So whatever your strategy to handle your weakness, keep at it and don’t give up so that your weakness won’t win.

40+FAB Blog

Engines power things and make them work the way they should. Man has been able to move from mechanical to electrical and now electronic engines. The evolution of engines has seen each one deliver to us more power to accomplish things that their predecessors could not.
The more power these technologies contain, the less silent they seem to run.

To get the best out of our engines, we need to maintain and service them when they are not running optimally. The way an engine sounds is usually a good indication that it might need attention, but it is more difficult to detect a problem this way for the more silent engines.

There is an engine in man – the brain and mind – which probably is the most powerful engine that humans possess. With this, we have been able to create all other engines to work for us. They run ever so silently and there is a huge tendency to neglect their maintenance.

Zig Zglar once said, “We all need a daily checkup from the neck up to avoid stinking’ think’…”
With an engine so powerful that can churn out results which aid or hinder our lives, we have a responsibility to keep it working the way it should.
Let us do all it takes to maintain our mental health and never again neglect the silent engine.

40+FAB Blog

This famous quote by William Shakespeare says, “This above all – to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man”.

It’s funny to say that in these times we live in there is rife competition in the race to judge you when you make a mistake. You only need to switch on the news or read comments on social media to know this is true.

We must become experts at winning the race of self judgement, this I believe is Shakespeare’s point. Notice I did not say self condemnation. Being quick to identify where you went wrong and taking the steps to reroute will insure you against the unkind criticism of others. This requires constant awareness and diligence. If you allow others to judge you first, you are more likely to engage in self condemnation than judgement.

Taking responsibility for your self and your actions is the best form of defence even before the attacks come. When you notice that things have not gone the way you intended, be quick to shut out the other opinions while you ask yourself, “where did I go wrong?“

40+FAB Blog

I don’t know if you have ever had the headache of owning a problem car?
I had one of such cars shortly after graduation from my masters. It was gifted to me by a friend and I was overjoyed on receiving it. It was a neat enough second hand car (make of which I shall keep mute on), it looked good and drove well too.

After a few months, the car battery would run down every single day. I changed the battery but the problem persisted. Sometimes I would be driving and the car would go off. Other times I could smell burning wire. I did all I could to fix it but nothing seemed to help. I was never sure if the car would carry me or if I would be carrying the car. Eventually, the only thing left to do was to scrap that car.

A few cars later, I had the good fortune of owning one which was sent from heaven. For about four years the only thing I had to worry about apart from the annual service was petrol. Not even for one day was there a slight glitch with that car. The difference between the two was as clear as night from day.

I don’t think this is only true for cars, the same applies to jobs, homes, relationships, friends and so on. If something gives you a headache ever so often no matter how hard you genuinely try to fix it, then maybe its time to take it to the scrap yard. I can bet you that a brand new one is out there waiting for you and it would appreciate all your investment in it and give you wonderful peace of mind.

40+FAB Blog

The words of the 1985 hit song performed by Dionne Warwick Never rang so true. The many qualities and benefits of a good friend cannot be over stated.
Having a friend that you can depend on who will be there through all the chequered seasons of your life is invaluable.

We all have at least one friend like that somewhere. You may have lost touch, you may have neglected the relationship or have not been investing in your friendship as much as you know you should.

Pick up the phone, send a text, take a trip and contact your friend and just say Thank you!
Make a decision today to rekindle that friendship wherever it may be faltering, or to make it even stronger where it has been okay.

And finally, as much as you love having someone there for you, you go out there and with all your might, be there for someone too. After all, that’s what friends are for.

40+FAB Blog

Have you ever made a big move and changed location, job, relationship or something major because it did not make you happy? Only to arrive at the new thing and within a few days, weeks or months it seemed like you were right back where you left, still in need of finding the happy place.

I am not sure that the happy place is an actual physical space for no matter how many times I have moved, it ended up feeling like where I was coming from.

The happy place I find is more of a positive state. Yes, a state of mind that you must take with you to make every space a happy place.

Many years ago, I felt trapped in a job and with so many bills that I could not see a way out. Through the advice of a friend, I went on a training course which expanded my thinking to new possibilities. I saw something in my mind that looked like where I wanted to be. I went back home with a spring in my step and a smile on my face, although nothing in my physical space changed, I was in a happy place for months before I eventually got hired to a new job.

If only I had realised earlier that a change in my state of mind would change my place in life, I would have spent more time in the happy place.