Theodore Roosevelt, one time president of America said, “No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” This principle is very important when it comes to disciplining our children.

The foundation of discipline in any home should be love. As we are locked away with kids running left, right and centre, it’s easy to stamp down our foot of authority in the name of discipline to keep them quiet and confined to ‘do not disturb me’ spaces.

Love seeks the highest good of another and it has to be clear to you and to your child what that means. As love should not be negotiable, so the discipline that follows off the back of it should not be negotiable also.

Don’t get overwhelmed with the constraints of this season and withdraw into a selfish place that thinks only about you. Focus rather on being the best and giving the best in love to those little ones around you.

40+FAB Blog

Do you have the key?

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 25, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Whatever you are trying to access, you must ask yourself this important question, do you have the key to it?
The tenancy on my office space expires in a few days so I planned to pack up my stuff today. I took the long drive to the office only to find out that I had left the key at home.

Have you ever made great efforts to get to something that you really wanted only to be disappointed because you did not have access? You might have been a few pennies short, or did not have the latest information, or did not get on with the ‘in’ crowd, or you actually forgot the key, pin or code.

There is a key to access what you want. It might be knowledge and information, a person who acts as a gate keeper, more money or an actual key or code. Ensure that you detect what the right key is and make sure you take it with you.

40+FAB Blog

Broaden your horizons

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 24, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

This would have been great advice a few decades back, but right now the world is filled with so much information that horizons are wider and more visible than ever before. The other thing to note also is that a lot of this information is free.

The abundance of such opportunity will not do certain things for you like give you purpose, focus and more time. You need to decide where you want to go, assess if it is worthwhile and then understand how long it is likely to take you to get there.

Like with any other journey, the more information and advice you get about it, especially from those that have travelled the road, the more prepare and likely to succeed you will be as you pursue that course of life.

The horizons are waiting to be explored, so what are you waiting for?

40+FAB Blog

What’s best for home school?

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 23, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Considering the purpose of education, what’s actually best for parents to be teaching their children to prepare them for life and not just a degree?

When I was growing up in Lagos, Nigeria, a lot of parents frowned upon football, singing, acting and such activities. We would get into a lot of trouble with our parents if they found out we were devoting study time to any of these activities. I still have friends who were amazing footballers back in the day, and they joke that they still guilt trip their parents for not allowing them to play and ruining their chances of becoming wealthy sports personalities.

As parents we should have a forward looking view of life to be able to instil the same in our children. We should also have a good understanding of our children’s abilities and what they are skilled and gifted to do in life. There is no point pushing a child who is interested in science into a career as a lawyer because you own a law firm.

Don’t only focus on the academic stuff, teach them your family values, faith, how to cook, fashion sense, taking care of property, making good conversations, how to make and manage money, importance of saving, having a good attitude, being a good citizen, research, how to interpret news and much more.

Life is not one dimensional nor does it always follow the path we prescribe for them, but if we do a great job of educating them, then who says a one time footballer cannot become the president of his country?

40+FAB Blog

Was your home ever a school?

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 22, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Education according to the dictionary is – the act or process of imparting or acquiring knowledge or skills. The original word originates from Latin – EDUCERE and is broken down as follows; EX – “out” and DUCERE – “to lead”. Putting them together, it means to lead out, or to bring out. Education then by its very meaning is to bring out what is already in you in a measure.

An apprenticeship most closely mirrors the essence of the original word used to describe education. The apprentice completes their formal or informal training with the acquisition of knowledge, skill and most importantly the ability to replicate the business that their mentor has taught.

So the question is, should education happen in a formal institution only, or should it actually begin and continue at home? With most parents having to home school their children during this lock down, some may begin to question the relevance of what they are being taught in terms of application to real life.

This period may just be a great opportunity for parents to understand how to fill the gaps between home and school education and to pass on their best skills that are most relevant to the children that they have.

40+FAB Blog

It’s how you make them feel

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 21, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

There are many who would acknowledge that they would like to feel important in the presence of other people. Subconsciously we do quite a bit to let others see how brilliant and important we are.

Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel”.
If we focussed our attention on treating other people right and with the importance that we ourselves would like to be treated, then, we would get much further ahead in relationships with people and in life.

Les Brown said also, “Help others achieve their dream and you will achieve yours”. These are age old truths that practised over the centuries have given rise to great individuals that achieved great things.

Help others to achieve a feeling of importance by the way you treat them and they will never forget how you made them feel. You will also find that whoever you helped will stop at nothing to make you feel the same way too. That my friends is the beginning of true achievement in life.

40+FAB Blog

Late nights

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 20, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Why do you keep late nights? Is it to catch up with friends or family in person or over the phone? Is it to complete work? Is it to watch a movie or engage in some other similar entertainment? Or is it to spend time developing yourself through books and other means?

The night season is meant for sleep which is important to reset the mind and body but sometimes the mind and body find a type of strength in the purpose that one pursues such that it overrides the need for food and sleep in the course of a day.

Don’t be like the ones who are so driven that they use the late nights to get as far forward as they can at the expense of family, friends, conscience and peace.

What you yearn for or desire is really important and should be chosen carefully so that the night season of your sacrifice produces a great reward that will be satisfying to every part of your life and all who are in it.

40+FAB Blog

A way out

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 19, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Have you ever heard that there is light at the end of the tunnel?
I have always wondered about this as the light at the end of the tunnel does not help a person trapped in the tunnel in total darkness to find it.

Reading the stories of people who have been trapped in caves, tunnels, mines etc. They all had one thing in common, this was the hope of coming out of that place. Somehow what they believed and held onto in their hearts kept them going until they were able to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

The way out was predicated on the hope of seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. We don’t know how long the situation caused by the COVID-19 would last, we don’t know how long lock down and social distancing would last, but if we are to make it to the other side, we must keep hope that we will get to the other side.

Remember the 33 Chilean miners who were rescued from a mine after 69 days? Or the Thai boys who were rescued from the cave after 17 days? They kept hope alive and they made it out of conditions which were thought impossible to survive in.

There is a way out and the map of that way out is in the hope in our heart.

40+FAB Blog

Side-tracked

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 18, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

This is one of the enemies of making consistent progress in the short-term or the long-term for that matter. I read an article some time ago which cited that our attention span has fallen from about 12 minutes in the 80’s to a mere 8 seconds as of today.

This means we are now not much better than gold fish which they tell us have an attention span of 4 seconds there about. Our behaviour is probably not much different either, we turn from one screen to another looking at one thing after the other, eating in between, sleeping and then repeating the whole cycle the following day.

We must do something to increase attention span and focus in order to make meaningful progress in life. We cannot be hooked to digital and electronic devices all day.

Turn them off, do a regular digital and e-detox. Resist the temptation to touch any of those devices for a day or days. Get you attention span back, get your life back and don’t let yourself be side-tracked that easily any more.

40+FAB Blog

I’ll do it when I want

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 17, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

I’ll do it when I want! Could this be the best way to get things done? I remember when I was growing up, that was absolutely the wrong answer to give to any of my parents when I was asked to do stuff.

Now that I am my own man and don’t necessarily need to answer to anyone in that regard, can I now do what I want when I want? It might work for some people, but personally I have found that there is a proper time to get things done.

Let’s take meal times for instance, nutritionist advise when the best times to eat are. You may have ignored them for years but it has clearly been proven medically the dangers of eating at the wrong times. Either not eating early enough or eating too late in the night have undesirable effects on the body.

I have found that if I wake up 30 minutes later than I usually do, then it becomes quite difficult to complete certain tasks I planned to do that day as the best time to do them for me would be early in the morning in that 30 minutes.

You need to find what is the very best time to get things done, whether for yourself or for others. The level of results you will get when things are done at the right time far outweigh the results of doing it when you want.

PREVIOUS POSTSPage 45 of 63NEXT POSTS

Love and discipline

Do you have the key?

Broaden your horizons

What’s best for home school?

Was your home ever a school?

It’s how you make them feel

Late nights

A way out

Side-tracked

I’ll do it when I want