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40+FAB Blog

Learn how to play it

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July 5, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

…Continued from “Copying correctly“

If life is like a game, then that means there must be a set of rules by which this game should be played such that we get the best out of it and perhaps even become winners. All games have many things in common and if you understand the principles of playing one game, it would make it easier for you to understand the principles that govern every other game. 

A few things that are common to games are: 
1. The Aim of the Game (Purpose) 
2. The Rules 
3. The Enforcers of the Rules (Umpires) 
4. The Tools and Techniques of the Game 
5. The Players 
6. The Scores 
7. The Supporters or Fans 
8. The Opponents 

I have learnt to apply these principles to better understand my journey through life. 

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40+FAB Blog

Copying correctly

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July 4, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

…Continued from “Is it a game“

Most of us have learned life merely by observing and copying the people that were examples to us. This reminds me of the story of the lady who would always cut off the ends of her spare ribs, throw them away and then place the main piece in the oven to grill it. Her husband then asked her one day, “Honey, why do you throw away one part of the ribs? They seem perfectly fine to me”. She answered, “I don’t know, my mother always made hers that way”. They then decided to ask her Mom why she made her ribs that way. She replied, “I don’t know, my mother used to make them that way”. They eventually met up with Grandma and asked the same question to which Grandma replied, “When I got my first oven many years ago, there wasn’t enough space to fit in the width of the ribs, so I had to cut off the ends of it and get rid of the other bits”. 

It is so important that our understanding of life is not only caught by what we have observed, but we should be taught by those we have observed. Sometimes what people call a ‘curse’ or ‘bad luck’ – typified by the constant failure in one’s endeavours – is not a bad omen cast upon them; but instead could be the result of unproductive and non-progressive behaviour patterns observed from those who nurtured them, who also learnt the same from those who nurtured them, and so on and so forth going down their ancestral line. 

To be continued…

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40+FAB Blog

Is it a game?

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July 3, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

“Life is like a game,” they say. Such statements almost seem to trivialize the magnitude of the reverence that we place upon this thing called life. After all, life is very serious business. I have always disliked that statement and would stop short of being offended when I heard it said; but the more I experience life, I am forced to affirm that this saying is true, “life is like a game”. It is NOT a game because unlike Super Mario you don’t have three lives and one extra for being good. This however does not negate it’s likeness to a game. 

I have observed how things always seem to occur in cycles and how everyone seems to go through some kind of challenge at a very comparable season on their journey through life. I have seen opportunity knock and how it was wooed or repelled by those it sought. I have sat with rich men and observed the manner in which they dealt with people and circumstances that came their way. I have closely rubbed shoulders with the poor and noted how they reacted to situations that they found themselves in. 

In all this, I could see a pattern and it almost seemed to me like there was a secret script that was being followed and acted out by different categories of people. This made me conclude that life must really be like a game as everyone seemed to be playing by a set of rules they knew about, or maybe they just merely followed in the steps of others they saw playing the game. 

To be continued…

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40+FAB Blog

Work with the waves

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July 2, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Sometimes we have to work against the status quo in order to establish innovative pathways for doing things, but at other times we have to go with the flow of what is already established in order to get ahead of the exigencies of life.

The world we live in and nature all around us teach a key lesson through cycles of time like days, months, years and seasons. Consider the rhythmic movement of the waves in the ocean. A wise surfer knows that if they want to surf across the sea, then they need to work with the waves and not against it.

They have a surf board which can be used to paddle across the face of the water, on their own effort, to keep moving. However, if they want to move far and fast with minimal effort exerted, then they need to hook up with a wave which will show up according to its cyclical nature.

We have a board in life that at worst keeps us afloat, but that thing in your hand can do so much more if you connect with the waves of planning, or time management, or leadership, or relationships, or integrity, or knowledge, etc.

Don’t work against the waves you find in life, instead be patient to wait for them, catch them, and ride them to a place of much fulfilment.

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40+FAB Blog

A need to help

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July 1, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

It is actually quite natural for us as human beings to want to help another. I see it all the time in a group of toddlers. When one is crying, all the others can be seen gathering around them to find out what is wrong and they try to make it better.

As we get older, we learn a lot of things that begin to block out our natural tendency to help. Things like biases we are taught, dishonest persons playing on our emotions for their personal gains, our selfishness or greed, fear, and a host of other reasons.

Soon we find it easy to walk past those crying out for relief from their predicament. Even when we feel a sense of the right thing to do, and compassion welling up, we remind ourselves of the reasons not to help, then we suppress the urge to.

We have a genuine human need to help others and suppressing it only kills a part of the person we are meant to be thus preventing us from ever reaching our full potential in many areas of life.

Check out the stories of those who have accomplished great things and you will find that quite a few of them stumbled on their greatness as they went about trying to help others.

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40+FAB Blog

Cause and effect

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June 30, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

My daughter is 11 months and very curious. She has now discovered the light switch and is absolutely thrilled when she presses it and the light goes on or off. It is immediate! The effect follows the cause instantly.

It is quite gratifying when we put in an effort, however little or large, and get the results almost immediately. Sadly, most things in life do not respond that quickly and sometimes we give up on our cause because the effect did not show up after we waited for quite a long while.

There are two areas where the misconception about cause and effect can particularly harm us. One is where we do the wrong things and because we seem to get away with it, we do not correct our actions that are undesirable. The other is when we do the right things and don’t seem to reap the rewards of it and therefore give up desirable actions.

Always remember the seed principle when you are not seeing an immediate return on your effort.
1. You will reap what you sow
2. You will reap later than you sow and
3. You will reap more than you sow

Let this be your guide when it comes to cause and effect.

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40+FAB Blog

Harnessing patterns

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June 29, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

I learned to play the guitar reasonably well and also picked up the basics of the piano. What I found out about music was that there were patterns and if you learnt to play certain keys in one pattern you would be able to play all keys repeating that pattern.

Patterns exist in everything, sometimes they are in plain sight and quite logical to follow, other times they are hidden and need to be pointed out before you see them.

Just like in music, if you can harness the patterns in one area, you can apply them to another area to produce similar results. So, if you find the patterns that made you succeed through secondary school, you can use those patterns to succeed at work or business. A lot of times we try to reinvent the wheel when all we need to do is find the pattern and replicate it in our own area.

If you see a pattern of a fruitful and fulfilled life, replicate it. If you see a pattern of failure and despondency, avoid it. Learn to observe the patterns and how to harness them for your ultimate good.

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40+FAB Blog

Make sure to finish

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June 28, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

I remember as a child, I made a big fuss for my grandma to make me some food because I was hungry. She fried me an overripe plantain and I ate half of it, but could not finish it. She then made a bigger fuss and insisted I finish that meal even if it took all day. I learnt that day not to dabble into matters I was not willing to see out to the end.

We sometimes embark on too many endeavours that we never close out and therefore lose the important lessons we could have learnt.
Finishing is not only about things that come to a logical end like a school degree, but it is also about choosing to stop something that one has started that is not beneficial.

To finish properly is to unhinge yourself from a past that was either successful or not, so that you can pursue the possibilities of the future.
Finishing involves doing a post mortem on what worked for you and what didn’t work, this gives you great insight on how to approach your next challenge.

Have you ever been in a bad relationship? You understand the importance of finishing when you are able to tell the other party clearly that it is over. You know that if you have left without stating this, there will be thoughts lingering that will always haunt you. You may also never be bold enough to face up to that person wearing your integrity on your sleeves.

We do ourselves a great disservice by not finishing whatever we have started as we are shirking responsibility and accountability. No one may know or ever pull us up on it, but we will know that we took the path of least resistance, and if we are faced with a similar situation again, we would still do the same.

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40+FAB Blog

Bringing all together

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June 27, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

If you’ve ever had to give a speech, you realise the importance of bringing all your thoughts together so it all makes sense and gets the point across.
Having to run pretty much anything else in life is no different.

Think about the last meal you had to prepare, or a wedding, a holiday, a grocery shopping trip, a birthday party, a ball game, and the list could go on. Depending on what event it is, there is a range of complexity that needs some form of coordination to be able to arrive at a reasonable output for what has been intended.

Coordination is the organisation of different elements of a complex activity to enable or bring them together to work effectively. Companies pay thousands to hire people with the right skillset to coordinate their projects. There is nothing more frustrating than having all the right people and the right resources but not achieving the right results.

Think about the conductor in an orchestra or the director of a movie, they don’t seem to be doing any of the music or acting, but without them the production is at risk of becoming a disaster.

Resources, time, cost, scope, logistics, etc. all have to be planned effectively to turn out a result. Never underestimate the value of the ones that can bring it all together.

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40+FAB Blog

In competent company

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June 26, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Competence is the ability to do something successfully or efficiently. It is great to be competent in as many areas of your life’s purpose as you can, but there is only so much that you can achieve alone.

Imagine the very skilful bespoke shoemaker, he can only make a very small amount of shoes in a week to sell in his shop. However, there is a shoe factory down the road with several people skilled at different things but focussed on making and selling shoes. They are able to produce and sell hundreds of shoes in a week.

The shoemaker is a competent individual, the shoe factory is a competent company. So, what do you want to achieve in life? You can do it more successfully and efficiently if you surround yourself with the right company of competent people.

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