Sometimes, people will try to put you down in a subtle manner when you win. They will make statements that paint your win as a small thing and not a big deal worth noting let alone celebrating.

Winning is important because it creates the drive to do more, it helps us to believe more in our ability to bring our ideas or methods of doing things to reality. We are all unique and express ourselves in very unique ways. Another persons win will never produce in you your full potential. It has to be your win, no matter how small, that will unlock the door to your next level. Each win is like a step taking you higher.

Go for your wins, celebrate them and be thankful for what they are. Let them propel you to the next thing you have to face.

Remember we will face ups and the downs in life, and there is nothing like a small win, to pick you up and get you going again like the champion you are, after you have faced a big failure.

40+FAB Blog

Tell me a story

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

August 3, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Apparently, story telling is one of the most powerful methods of sharing information in palatable and digestible chunks. It will amaze you how many people, regardless of their background or status, who would sit down and listen to you tell a story.

I remember a story that was told to me decades ago in my pre-teen years and I still remember the story and the moral of it up till today.
“The lender was arguing with the borrower and insisting he get his money right now. The bystander was watching to see what would happen. After going back and forth for a long while, the borrower in frustration pulled out a knife as he objected that there was no way he could pay the money now and so he would end it all. He turned the knife on himself, fell on it and died. The Lender without hesitation laughed sarcastically and said, you will not take my money with you, and so he pulled the knife out of the borrower, fell on it and died also. The bystander at this point was livid, he shouted you will not deny me of seeing how this matter ends, and he drew the knife from the lender, fell on it and died too.” The moral of the story was to mind your own business.

If you have faced difficulties trying to get information or vital facts across to others, try this ancient art of story telling, it still has spell binding appeal when you do it properly.

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Find what supercedes

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

August 2, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

In every field of endeavour not only do we have the bad and the good, but there is also the better and the best. Most times, we focus on the differentiation between the bad and the good to give ourselves a moral boost that we have chosen the good and are therefore fine to continue in that status quo when compared to the bad.

After a while, good may not be good enough. For, whatever is good can be done better and whatever is better can be done best. If you do a little bit of research, you will always find information that can lead you to what is better, or enable you to design and do it.

Don’t be content to sit where you are with whatever you have that is good. There is something that supercedes it, so be like a hunter and go after what will make you better in every area of your life.

40+FAB Blog

Are you stable?

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

August 1, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Stability is one of those attributes that are so important yet can be taken for granted when present. I learnt in physics and chemistry, that most of the elements we use in our day to day lives exhibit stability and that’s why we can use them productively. I also learnt of other elements which are considered unstable, and very destructive when they come in contact with anything around them.

Over the years, scientists have found ways to handle unstable elements and harness them for some good. It takes a lot of effort and resources though to handle these types of elements.

In our emotional states we can also exhibit stability or we can be very irrational. A truly mature person harnesses their emotions to exhibit stability as they deal with family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances. On the other hand, you have those who are erratic and you never know what to expect from them in different scenarios. The effort and emotional cost of dealing with such persons can be quite enormous, and so we usually tend to avoid them.

Ask yourself, “Am I exhibiting stability in my dealings with others?” “What can I do to be more consistent with the values I believe and want to live?”
Don’t make the price of others being around you too high because you will certainly need them to attain the desires that you have for life.

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Read then recreate

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

July 31, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

I recently revived my guitar playing skills by taking a comprehensive refresher on the foundational principles of playing the guitar. The part that still baffles me most is how one is able to read music from a sheet, and recreate a perfect song having never heard it previously.

It is not enough to have the ability to read the music, but you must also have the right context of the instruments to play that music otherwise you will not succeed in recreating what the author intended.

This all made sense to me in light of my reading several books and trying to recreate what the author had written, but having the context all wrong.
I remember when I was learning how to drive, I bought a book teaching driving, unfortunately for me, the book was written for countries that drive on the right hand side, and I was living in a country that drove on the left hand side.

If you are going to be successful in recreating what you have learnt from reading, ensure that you do enough to understand the context in which the author wrote it, and you are equipped with the right tools to recreate the new and wonderful things you have read.

40+FAB Blog

The exclusive club

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

July 30, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

As a child, I remember going to the Country Club Ikeja, in Lagos, Nigeria. The one place that stood out for me was the room which only certain members were allowed into. Anytime the door opened, I would always try to peek to catch a glimpse of what was in there. The waft of cold air coming from the air-conditioning system was always a delight to enjoy for a few seconds in the sweltering heat on a tropical summers day.

I learnt from then the existence of exclusive clubs which only allowed VIP’s to access them. These type of clubs need to offer the best and most unique services in order to attract and keep their clientele.

No matter how good a club, if it has no members, there would be little value attributed to it. Conversely, if every Tom, Dick and Harry were all over the place, it would similarly hold no value to be exclusive.

Thinking about it, we all as individuals are an exclusive club. You are filled with so much value and potential that is hard for anyone to perceive at face value. But as valuable and exclusive as you are, you need the patronage of other people, who will discover the value you add, and whose presence in your life will ultimately enhance your value. No man is an Island, as the saying goes, and one is too small a number to achieve anything of real significance.

It is also important that as an exclusive club, you are not the play ground of everyone that comes your way. You need to shut the door to stuff that would mess you up and tamper with your value. Shut out the negative, doubt, greed, hate and all vices that come in human form to devalue you.

Think about yourself in this new light and be grateful for having first rights to you. Then, appreciate the VIP’s that have added value to you, and shut the door to the crowd that come to thrash your value.

40+FAB Blog

Broken promises

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

July 29, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

It seems to be a lot easier to be the one breaking a promise than to be the one having a promise broken.

When we make a promise, we take on many levels of responsibility in order to keep that promise. There will be extra demands on our time, resources and even physical strength. If we don’t go through with the promise, it will be less of a burden on us, but the question is, at what cost?

My son is at the age where he see’s promises as a way of gauging his dependence on our love and care for him. He now gets really upset if anything is promised and not followed through. We can see that he is trying to build a new level of trust in us, his parents.

I have had to reassess my attitude towards him and drastically reduce the number of times I break my promises. To me, it was convenient to break promises, but to him, it was devastating and affected his perception of me. I have realised that his trust is more important than my convenience.

Our attitude towards promises should span across everything we do, including our career and business. You have made a promise to your work colleagues or your customers to provide certain services at certain times. They expect you to show up and be your best, and when you do, it perpetuates trust. There may be the odd day where things did not work out but from your reputation they will know that you tried.
If on the other hand you have broken promises over and again for your convenience, they will soon lose all trust in you and the consequences of that are not at all appealing.

40+FAB Blog

Clear your mind

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

July 28, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

What do you do when your mind is swamped with thoughts of things to be done such that you begin to lose focus and it actually hampers you from doing anything?
How do you deal with the anxiety and the overwhelming feeling that you are about to lose control?

Someone said that the feeling of overwhelm is not because of the amount of things you have to do, but a lack of clarity on how to do them. There is therefore nothing better to be done in these high pressure situations than to seek clarity.

Most times, the answer is in you, but because your mind is cluttered, you can’t quite get to it. I misplaced my car keys once, and needing to go to an important event I began to look for the spare key. I knew where it was, but it was in a cluttered room in a cluttered cupboard. Panic set in as the time for my meeting drew near, but I had to calm myself down and piece by piece declutter the room and the cupboard until I found the keys.

You need to work out how to clear your mind when you are beginning to feel overwhelmed. I find that a nice long walk in serene surroundings does wonders for me. How do you clear your mind?

40+FAB Blog

Smiling outside, dying inside

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

July 27, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

I am sure we are all used to pretending, and have done so at one point or the other. Something funny happened to me the other day and I can’t help laughing at myself for how I displayed my pretence.

I had a really bad tummy ache and an infection on my toe. I was in so much pain that I had to go to the clinic to see a doctor. When I got there, the doctor that was assigned to me looked like a picture of perfection, she asked me what was wrong and I told her about my tummy ache. After the examination and prescription she asked if there was anything else, I then thought to myself “there is no way I will let this babe see my toe”, then I answered, “No”. When I got home, I told my wife what happened and we both had a good laugh.

Thinking back on that incident, it struck me that when we do have areas where we need help, we sometimes do not tell the trusted expert who can help us, the full details of our situation so that we do not look that bad.

We have a tendency to pretend, and in our own thinking we are trying to preserve what we feel is a bit of our self dignity, but then we lose out on having the real issue resolved. You know what I am talking about when you get into an argument with a friend, colleague or spouse and then you are telling your side of the story to a third party. There is a temptation to leave out the bits that could identify your pride or anger or pettiness.

I thought to myself, if I am doing this, then I am sure others have done the same. My advice to anyone who has an issue would be this, always share the full story, never leave out details that make yourself look better, otherwise, you will end up saving face and smiling on the outside while you are really dying on the inside.

40+FAB Blog

Had I known

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

July 26, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

If we could tell for certain the outcome of situations we face, the quality of our decisions would be so much better.

So how is it that some people seem to get it right more often and more consistently than others?

I guess one of the secrets is the ability to study the trends and interpret them for future actions. Take for instance the issue of debts, the stats show that people who have a habit of spending less than they earn are more likely to be debt free. It goes further to say that people that save constantly are also less likely to be in debt.

What are the trends in the areas you are looking for improvement? have you taken the time to study and really apply yourself to know as much as you can in that area? Have you found experts and those that have done consistently better and asked their advice?

Don’t live in regret when you have the chance to make a difference now, don’t wait for the event to pass and then exclaim, “had I known!”
Do what you can now to ensure you have covered all your bases, so that no matter the outcome you will feel satisfied that you did your best to get the results you desired.

PREVIOUS POSTSPage 35 of 63NEXT POSTS

No small win

Tell me a story

Find what supercedes

Are you stable?

Read then recreate

The exclusive club

Broken promises

Clear your mind

Smiling outside, dying inside

Had I known