PORTFOLIO
SEARCH
SHOP
Your address will show here +12 34 56 78
40+FAB Blog

Back in secondary school, chemistry was one of the science subjects I least liked especially when it came to trying to resolve how chemical reactions were calculated in theory. It was hard and it didn’t make too much sense.

We were then introduced to the lab where we had to prove what we had learnt about chemical reactions on paper. I remember being excited about mixing different liquids that either changed colour or became hot or very cold, it was like magic. A few students exploded a test tube or two by not following the mixing instructions as dictated by the theory we had learnt in class. It turned out that some students loathed these labs, but they loved the classroom work.

It became clear to me that even though the theory could be boring and sometimes difficult to get our heads around, it is a sound guide to direct how we deal with the elements we face in the practical world. It gives us a frame of reference to make us more precise in the real world. You can’t separate the theory form the practical, and vice versa. They go hand in hand to deliver to us the results we want.

Now, I try to pay attention to what the theory might be in whatever field I find myself. I know it doesn’t exactly mirror the real world which is imperfect and sometimes unpredictable, but it sure goes a long way in setting the right expectations and guides us on how best to move forward.

0

40+FAB Blog

Can it ever be useful for one to have constraints? We usually try as much as possible to get rid of all constraints so that we can be ‘free’. A constraint can be defined as control that limits or restricts someone’s actions or behaviour.

The reality is that a constraint is what keeps us in check and under control in many circumstances. Think of it as a type of warning, like a speed limit on the express way. Some people ignore the constraint of 70 mph on the freeway and this has sometimes led to fatal accidents. As inconveniencing as it can be to be limited by a speed limit when you are in a hurry and want to make up time, you must remember that the constraint is there to keep you in check of speeds that can lead to unfavourable outcomes.

Where do you have constraints in your life, family, career, relationships, business or any other area? Could it be a spouse, a parent, a mentor, a boss, a code of conduct, your values, the law of the land, a promise you have committed to, or a vision? Do you know what control they are meant to bring into your life?

We need to view constraints differently, understand thier purpose, and welcome the control they bring into our lives.

0

40+FAB Blog

The power of an example is to motivate us to strive to do more than our current experience. Our generation is blessed with the access to many exemplary persons and thier acts which changed the world.

When the spotlight shines on an exceptional person, we can sometimes react in the wrong way by comparing ourselves to them or even getting into a place of competition. Does this mean that there is anything wrong with comparison and competition?

To answer this, lets go down memory lane to our school days. Sometimes the teacher would point out an exemplary student in the class, possibly hoping to inspire other students, rather it yielded an atmosphere pregnant with envy, self-doubt and animosity. Maybe it was even your parents that compared you to siblings or friends. Every human being is so unique that it is quite cruel to compare any two persons. When we apply a cookie cutter approach to deal with a group of people, we end up creating a toxic environment.

We need to be taught the power of an example. It is meant to inspire us to compare where we are now with the possibility of where we could be. It is to challenge us to compete with ourselves, always striving to make the me today better than the me of yesterday. Example should lead to the comparison and competition with self to become a much better person.

The problem with comparing or competing with others is that each person has thier own unique path in life that only they are best suited for. When I look back over the years, I see that people I compared myself to or competed with in school are in a totally different profession with totally different interests from me today. In fact, I cant think of any two people in that class that are in the same line of business today.

Don’t live the rest of your life under the pressure of what another person has become or possesses. Follow this guide of being inspired by their example, and remember, the only reason it evokes such strong emotions in you is that the you of today is operating way below where you know you can be tomorrow. Take that energy and get into a fierce competition with yourself to come out better than you have ever been.

0

40+FAB Blog

One of the things I found from the educational system is that we have been trained to think in terms of ideal circumstances. The subject always taught, and we were always tested, on what the best answer should be.

It is great to have ideals and standards that we stick to, yet the problem of life is that there are so many circumstances that are not ideal. I guess the educational system knows this, but it would take too much time to begin to explore the various options and outcomes that a subject could possess, so we just stick to teaching the ideal and somehow paint a picture of perfect that everyone should strive to.

This is the mystery of perfection, we can never achieve it and will always work hard to come as close to it as possible before it evades us. That is the hard fact about the cosmos in which we live.

In order to gain the best of perfection in this flawed world inhabited by flawed people, we must view perfection as a compass and not a destination. We will never arrive at perfection, but with it as our guide, we will get to where we need to be, and we will never be lost.

It is critical to pass this understanding on to the next generation in any area or topic of consideration. It’s ok to build on what others have done, it’s ok to do our best to improve, it’s ok to have progress over perfection as we build the best we can in an imperfect world.

0

40+FAB Blog

What is the best advice you can give? If someone came up to you for instance and asked you to give them your best advice on parenting, what would it be?

The answer to that question might not be as straightforward as it seems for the simple reason that you can take a horse to the water, but you cannot force it to drink the water. If you gave advice, which is your best, yet the one you gave it to did not follow it, then was that advice really the best for that person?

I remember back in university in my freshman year, a student in final year gave me some unsolicited advice about doing well academically and getting a well paying job after graduation. I still remember it like yesterday, it was great advice, but he did not take into account what my aspirations were at the time, so I felt disconnected from the advice and never took it. So, was it really his best advice?

It may sound counterintuitive, but advice may need to be scaled down to the level of the one to receive it. If a person is medically in a state of starvation, the best meal you probably present to them would be a full plate of sumptuous delicacies, however for such a person what they actually need is to be drip fed simple portions of food until their body recovers enough strength to deal with larger portions of meals.

The best advice may be the second best, third best, or even tenth best advice if it allows the one that needs it to see it, own it, and act on it. It is conceited to give advice on the back of our success if we do so without really understanding and carefully assessing the state of the one who needs it.

0

40+FAB Blog

This is one of the things that should go without saying yet it often needs to be called out as we do not effectively maximise it. So, what is it? It is the power of networks.

We were all born into one, we call it a family, and even though we have been given membership, we have the responsibility to actively take part in it. If you are an invisible, non-participatory member of any network, whatever it is, then you need to go through the motions of an induction to join that network.

What is the benefit of any network? They are many, as the very principles by which we all agree to live are governed by the complex mesh of the many overlapping networks in which we live. The whole system of money and value exchanges are strongly tied to various networks with strong agreements in place to observe the rules around money.

Think about all the networks you need, like family, friends, business, education, etc. Ask yourself, “Am I actively taking part in this network or have I become the silent guest?” It is time to be a more proactive personality within your many network.

0

40+FAB Blog

Maybe you have heard this or even practiced it yourself. “We judge others by thier actions, but ourselves by our good intentions”. When others perform poorly or in a way that is a threat to us, we are not only reading thier actions, but what we feel is the motive behind those actions.

While growing up, my mum got to deal with a few two faced people, from the stories she would tell, I got the message that it was important to be wary or certain people and thier motives. Over the years, I have found myself doing the work of a motive detective, and as important as it is to do our due diligence and not blindly walk into situations that could hurt us, we cannot afford to become preoccupied with other peoples motives.

Because we cannot fully understand even our own motives, it is not a good use of our time trying to second guess that of others. Spend time rather to understand your own motives for doing things and put your best effort into turning your good intentions to good actions.

We were not cut out to be the motive police, instead, we should learn how to judge character thoughtfully and fairly. We must also learn to identify our inner biases like jealousy, insecurity, bigotry etc., that cloud our judgement of others. We can gain a little more productivity and joy in life from giving up the burden of proving other peoples motives.

0

40+FAB Blog

As lovely as good intentions are, one of the major problems with it is that you cannot measure it. Like they say if you can’t measure a thing, then you can’t improve it or control it.

We need to stop thinking about how good our intentions are or how bad is that of another. We can only truly judge people by thier immediate actions, and if they are prominent in our circles, by thier actions over time.

If you are going to grow and improve, then you must move from intentions to actions because actions are what you can measure and therefore improve. Have you ever seen yourself accomplish something spectacularly in your mind, but when you actually did it, you were grossly disappointed at how you performed? To match that picture in your mind, you would probably have had to act on it several times before it came close. That way, you grew as a person.

Become more intentional about measuring the parameters of your life to see how well you truly are doing and where you need to improve. Compare your results with your intentions and you will see the areas where there is a gap in your life.

0

40+FAB Blog

As my son and I walked past a stream this morning, we watched the ducks swim by, and then in the distance ahead, we noticed a large white and majestic bird floating gracefully down the stream. We couldn’t help stopping and staring admiring this beautiful creature.

As we continued our morning stroll I kept pondering on the story of the ugly duckling who turned out to be a beautiful sawn. It made me think about the several areas of my life where I never fit it, or the several times I was not preferred to be part of the group. Maybe the problem was not me, maybe my ugliness and inability to conform was just a sign that I was trying to be something I was not meant to be.

In the early phases of life, business, career etc. there may be very little to differentiate you from others apart from the hidden DNA of purpose that resides in everyone. As you begin to grow, the differences become apparent and for a while it may look ugly to others, but you must have enough confidence in yourself to know that you are special and carry great value. When you ascertain that you don’t belong with the ducks, excuse yourself and go in search of the flock that will nurture you.

Never come to a place of hating yourself or the qualities you have that others find ugly. Those very characteristics may just be indicative of the beautiful swan that is ready to emerge from your life.

0

40+FAB Blog

You must have heard someone being described as mentally strong, which means they know how to keep emotions and logic in balance, they spend thier time productively, they trust their ability to adapt to changes, they face the fears that hold then back, they learn from thier mistakes, and they find a balance between who they are and who they want to be.

Among all the many things that are used to describe mental strength, one cannot become mentally strong if they are not mentally healthy. Just like a physical body will not be able to build up muscles if it is sick, so the mind will not become strong if it is unhealthy.

So how can one attain or maintain mental health? There are many thoughts on this in several journals, article and blogs, but I will describe it in a simple way. Your brain and mind operate similar to a computer which has hardware and software. The brain is your hardware with all the microchips, while your mind is like the operating system which causes the microchips to work and deliver useful operations of the computer. If you want to be in mental health, then you need to ensure your brain is healthy, and also ensure your mind is healthy.

According to some research brain health can be facilitated by eating the right foods e.g., Omega 3 oils, vegetables, avocado’s, broccoli, blueberries, and drinking loads of water. Getting rid of negative self-talk, exercise, maintaining positive peer groups, learning new things, being in a clean environment, reducing the stress you are exposed to, getting enough sleep and protecting your head from being hit by excessive force.

Your mind can be healthy by primarily taking control of your thoughts. Again research has shown we think about 50,000 thoughts a day of which 40,000 are negative. With our mind only processing 20% of positive thoughts, we need to give more attention to keeping positive thoughts in the front of our mind. Writing a daily gratitude list helps to keep attention on positive thoughts which lead to a heathy mind.

Mental health is very important and we should do all we can to understand it and facilitate it in our day to day activities.

0

PREVIOUS POSTSPage 14 of 63NEXT POSTS