There is an old joke about certain business owners praying to God to increase thier business. So what exactly did the undertaker pray for? As morbidly funny as it sounds, it is the reality of life that there are people who make a living off the things that we would rather not think about or be caught dead doing.

So did they get into business to prise away money to the disadvantage of others, or did thier business actually emerge out of a genuine response to something that was needed and useful to others?

The basis of business is in meeting a need that people have, this means that anything you are inclined to help people with can actually be turned into a business. Is this taking advantage of others? Absolutely not! Even though that is a very popular view in some circles.

There are loads of people who need help, and they would not mind paying someone a fee to get that help. It is fine to help one or two people for free and then go about your day job or other activities that will pay your bill. However, if you want to help hundreds and possibly thousands of people, you will not have any time to take care of your own needs, so this is where the exchange of payment for service comes in. In other words, business.

We should be grateful for those in business who carry out services that we would rather not think about, or are not skilled to do. As you engage them to help you, also remember that you can get paid to help others too.

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What could have been

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

May 10, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

We sometimes get allured into thinking about what could have been, even years after the opportunities we missed have passed us by. Here is an age old maxim to jolt us back to reality, “Don’t cry over spilled milk”.

Just as hard as it is to gather spilled milk back into a jug, so it is trying to recreate a moment that has passed. It is messy and indeed a waste of time.
Instead of spending time thinking about what could have been, why not redirect your energies into thinking of what could be.

We must certainly learn from our past mistakes and failures, and the only way we can correct them is to perform better when we are presented with new opportunities to do so. The past is written and cannot be changed, the present moment is being captured and we have a chance to dictate what it would be, and the future is yet to be written so we have the time to prepare to influence it.

What could be in your relationships? What could be in your career? what could be in your community? What could be in your business? What could be in your future? You have what it takes today to influence what could be tomorrow.

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You’re not the only one

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

May 9, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

One of the the thoughts that make what we are going through a lot harder to bear is this, “I am the only one going through this”. Nothing can be further from the truth for several reasons.

If you are fortunate to have a few people close to you who care for you, then what you are going through becomes a problem for them also. Take the case of a couple where one partner develops a long term illness that affects thier mobility. As much as the husband is the one with the problem, the wife is severely impacted by that problem. If there are children, then thier lives too will have the shadow of thier dad’s illness cast over it. Our own situations may not be as dramatic as this one described, but the principles hold true.

The other thing is that statistically, out of about 7 billion people all over this planet, there is at least one or two other persons who are struggling with a very similar problem to the one you have. So, before you succumb the the depression that a life challenge could throw up, consider that this is not just your problem, and as they say, a problem shared is a problem half solved.

In light of this, it is actually selfish to think that a problem is all yours. Yes you have the primary responsibility for it, but you are not the only one involved.

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Memory and meaning

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

May 8, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

It fascinates me how the field of science keeps probing further and further to understand how the world around us works and what to do to make it better. Even more fascinating is how the human being works.

In reading Anders Ericsson’s book Peak, he made a statement that stuck out to me. To summarise it he says, “We only remember what has meaning”. He demonstrated this by reading a sentence backwards and asking people to remember the words he had spoken. The result was that only a few words could be remembered. He then read the words the right way, and the improvement was significant, in most cases all the words could be remembered. The difference was the second time, the sentence had a meaning.

Try this now with someone, read the following sentence to them out loud and ask them to repeat back to you any of the words they remember. “Soon normal to back get things hope we, virus the of cases rising to due everyone for difficult been has year last the.”
Now try reading it this way and ask them to repeat the words they remember. “The last year has been difficult for everyone due to rising cases of the virus, we hope things get back to normal soon.”

When I think about it, I am able to see clearly now why I was poor at remembering certain subjects like Engineering Mathematics. Some of the concepts being discussed did not make any meaning to me. This is a key to unlocking our potential as human beings, what makes meaning to us allows us to successfully work on it. A deeper question arises from this, would your life be more fulfilled if you work with and in the areas of your purpose – what makes meaning to you?

Whatever your answer, your abilities will certainly improve significantly when you find meaning in the various things you have to do.

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Keeping it steady

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

May 7, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

A steady state is vital to the normal operation of any being or system. If you are used to the function of a thermostat, you understand how it works to keep temperatures at a steady state. When it is unbearably hot outside, the thermostat ensures that the air conditioning system keeps it cool in the building, and when it is freezing cold outside, the thermostat ensures it is nice and warm in the building.

Surprisingly, most living organisms, including humans, reveal an intricately and intelligently formed collection of cells, and they display what is called ‘Homeostasis’. This is the ability to maintain a relatively stable internal state that persists despite changes in the world outside. In other words, we all have an internal thermostat.

Scientists have discovered that this unique ability of the body to maintain stability is what makes us to achieve astounding things. If you look through the Guinness book of world records, you will find near super human feats that people have accomplished. So how exactly do these things become possible?

The simple answer is the ability to adapt to new conditions making them normal. Homeostasis not only maintains a steady state, but it will allow the body to adapt to new conditions that are persistent. For instance, if you lift 10 kg weights everyday, you body will adjust to make that normal, if you increase it to 30 kg, your body will adjust and so on. The strongest man in the room is the one who has exposed himself to conditions that make it normal for him to deal with heavy weights.

This is why consistent training is so important, because we expose our body or mind to new conditions that are outside our comfort zone, and then they respond to allow us to operate on that new level.

Set a target for yourself physically or mentally and then get into consistent training either by yourself or with others, and allow the wonderful nature that exists in your body to set the new limits on your body and mind.

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Do it now!

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

May 6, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

There are many things we will never get a second chance to do. Do you know that if you missed the opportunity to tell a loved one how special they are to you at exactly 6 am on the 6th of May 2021, you would have missed that moment forever?

Is it because there is anything magical about that date or time? absolutely not. Or, is it because you will never have a different occasion to show your appreciation to them? Again, the answer is no. So what exactly is the thought here?

You only have one life to live, and in case no one never told you, it is not a practice run. Your life is happening right now! ‘Do it now’ is a call to live ready. It is an attitude that takes responsibility to respond to life as it happens.

Do it now people therefore become winners in life, not because they are any better than anyone else, but because they take the opportunity to be first responders to life’s events, and thus they get rewarded for it. They say thank you, I love you, excuse me, I have a question, I volunteer, I can help. They try new things, walk with a spring in thier step, tackle the difficult tasks until done, practice being present, spend time planning, invest in learning and growing, etc.

Give yourself a challenge, and for the next one week, flood your mind with the mantra “Do it now”, and practice responding to all of life’s little events as soon as they happen.

40+FAB Blog

Being clear about it

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

May 5, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Clarity is is wonderful thing because it is able to give the most accurate depiction about a situation or a thing. Most times, clarity for one person is different from that of another, and can be limited to what we perceive.

Growing up in West Africa, we always had the odd encounter with one wild animal or another especially on the outskirts of town. Let me tell you a story, a group saw a snake down the path leading to the water pumps, and one said, “That’s a snake, I am turning back”, another went further to investigate and said, “It looks like a poisonous snake, I am turning back”, and the third went further, observed the beast and reported to the rest, “It is an African cobra, I am definitely turning back”.

The question is, who had clarity? The first man was clear that any type of snake was a no for him. The second man maybe could have gone on if it were a non poisonous snake, but was clear that he would proceed no further around poisonous snakes. Finally, the third man might have had experiences with poisonous snakes that he could handle, but when he discovered it was an African cobra, he was clear that it was a no go area for him.

The important thing about clarity is that you know what you want, and also what you don’t want. It helps you to make decisions that best suit your circumstances. Sometimes, we don’t all need the same amount of information to be clear, so do not feel pressured to have the exact same information as someone else before you make up your mind.

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Blinded by the destination

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

May 4, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Sometimes, we strive so hard to get to a destination that we miss out on the value, beauty and enjoyment of the journey. You may have experienced this in trying to create the ‘perfect’ marriage, or children, or career.

In our minds eye, we focus on what the destination should look like such that we totally lose sight of the fact that the destination would never be accessible without the paths of the journey that lead us there.

If you want your marriage to be a dream, nagging about what you want your partner to do so you both get there only creates the opposite effect. However, if you go on the journey of being kind, helping them out, sincerely complimenting them, and creating an environment they always want to come home to, then you are living the journey to a successful marriage.

I find that when I lose patience with my children and begin to shout at them to do the right thing, it only makes them nervous and they end up making even more mistakes. However, when I took the time to praise thier efforts, gently point out thier mistakes and correct them, they thrived much better and behaved in the manner I expected. When I was so consumed on what I wanted and not patiently working with them through the journey, it only produced a high pressure situation where no one was satisfied.

Being blinded by the destination makes you lose sight of the paths to get there and one can end up wandering round and round without ever attaining the satisfaction desired. We must keep the destination in mind, but more importantly look for the path to get us there, and walk that path with the same enthusiasm we have reserved for the destination.

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Learn from the best

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

May 3, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

In the days that we live, no one has an excuse to not excel in whatever area they function. Knowledge that made a difference was the preserve of just a few, a couple of hundred years ago. Areas of knowledge like engineering were still emerging, and techniques to learning was also developing.

Today however, there are vast bodies of knowledge which have been compiled, tested and applied successfully for many years. New frontiers in these areas of knowledge are being pushed by those that have been properly instructed by the preceding generations, and they have become the best at those fields, because they were taught by the best.

Maybe you don’t have direct access to be trained by the best in person, but, there is the internet or books that you can use to access thier tutelage. So, if you want to get better at selling, find the best sales person, there is a system they use that has been proven and if you follow it, you will improve significantly. Find the best engineer, seamstress, counsellor, footballer, singer, guitarist, mechanic, speaker, etc.

Why limit yourself to knowledge that is only available at your location which may even be outdated, when you can access the latest information from the best minds to transform your efforts into amazing results?

40+FAB Blog

Your attitude towards little

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

May 2, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

There is a reason why we are given a little to start off with when we are learning how to handle something new. One of the primary reasons for this could be to check our attitude towards little.

When you are given very little, there are really only two ways to react. Firstly, you can care for it, or secondly you can despise and ignore it. However you react gives a good indication of what you will do if given much.

Some things I found useful about having little, which probably wouldn’t be as noticeable when you have plenty, are as follows:
1. You can easily notice when what you have goes missing or is not performing well.
2. You notice who took it, or what has affected it.
3. You identify the dangers or risks to what you have easily, and
4. You learn how to manage it better.

There are probably many other points you can think of on how having little has taught you to manage what you have really well. I love books, and when I had a few, I knew all the titles, who borrowed them, and what condition they were in. When I increased my library, sometimes people would borrow books, and I would have no idea of who had what, or that any book was even missing. But once I returned to the principles I used to manage my small collection, I tracked down all my books and applied a system to ensure that I always knew where they were. The result is that I still have hundreds of books with some in my possession for at least two decades and looking in great condition too.

The beauty of starting small is that the principles and attitudes you used to deal with little can be scaled to deal with a lot.

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Help or business?

What could have been

You’re not the only one

Memory and meaning

Keeping it steady

Do it now!

Being clear about it

Blinded by the destination

Learn from the best

Your attitude towards little