40+FAB Blog

The prayer of serenity

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

March 12, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Have you ever come across the prayer of serenity? It goes like this, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.”

This is a wise way to look at the subject of change because as humans we find change to be challenging and it creates stresses that affect us knowingly or unknowingly, therefore, how we handle it is very important.

There are things in life that will not change, some to our advantage and others possibly to our detriment. Day and night , the passage of time, and ageing are all things we cannot change. On the other hand, there are a number of things that seem unchangeable that we can indeed change, like our ability to be more efficient and productive, or to stand against injustices that are culturally ingrained.

Sometimes, we need wisdom to be able to discern between what we can change and what we can’t change. Life will always be progressive and fulfilling when we ensure that we are maintaining the right balance in relation to change.

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40+FAB Blog

Time and timing

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

March 11, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Time is the passage of moments that go on continually, whereas timing is the choice, judgement, or control of when something should be done, it could also be described as a particular point or period of time when something happens.

From the above definitions, we can say that time is not at all in our control and we must learn to work with it, however, timing is something we can practice and prepare for, this is more in our control.

Time affords us the opportunity to practice, so we can therefore use time to learn, improve and grow. Timing, on the other hand, affords us the opportunity to reveal something that we have prepared or prepared for.

It took me time to earn a university degree, and it was through timing that I got into the right job to use those skills. It took me time to develop a new product for men’s fashion, and I am currently working on the timing to reveal this new product to the fashion world.

What are you using your time for? Remember that when you are done, you need to get the timing right to unveil it to the world.

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40+FAB Blog

Same words, different results

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

March 10, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Words are powerful tools that are used to express the deepest core of the human being, they are not merely tools of sounds or scribbles that fill up empty space.

The worst thing we can do is to become insincere in how we express ourselves with words. It is better to be silent than to speak what we do not believe or are convinced of. The more we practice careless speech, the more we lose the power of our own conviction.

One can give a great oration that arouses the applause of the people that listened, and everyone leaves there thinking what a great speaker. Another can speak very similar words but the reaction they draw is one of conviction from the heart of the listeners who leave, meaning to take action on what they have heard.

The one entertained the people with fancy words, while the other elevated them to a higher state of awareness and being. The key difference between both would be that one has learnt to express themselves with conviction, speaking words that relay who they are.

Don’t ever look at words as ordinary tools, but take them as the means to exchange life with others.

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40+FAB Blog

Minimum movement maximum result

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

March 9, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

There is a principle of leverage in physics where a fulcrum is the point at which a minimum amount of effort is able to move a maximum weight. It is somehow able to multiply effort to gain more than is expended. Massive doors which would take much effort for a child to move can be swung on hinges with a little push from thier fingers.

There is a principle of minimum movement also in leadership which implies that the less a leader moves, the more they gain a credibility for being in charge. Think here about a lion as opposed to a chicken, the one is graceful and economical in movement, while the other just flaps around at every small stir.

Learn the power of economical movement. It is not everything you are meant to respond to or expend your energies on. Find the activities that will guarantee you least effort for maximum impact such that at the end of your day when you have used up all your strength, you have an abundance of accomplishments that far outweigh the effort you expended.

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40+FAB Blog

Network net worth

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

March 8, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

They say that you can grow your net worth according to the network you are a part of. If your network consists of the very rich, then chances are that you will grow to become very rich. As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together.

It is not every network that is beneficial for the simple reason that the make up of the network could hold little value to the person seeking to join it. In that case, rather than the network contributing to your net worth, such a network establishes for you a net-nought.

The ancient wisdom of sages past and present still holds true; walk with the wise and you will be wise, hang around fools and you will come to ruin.
It is time to evaluate your networks again and be honest about its potential to take you to a next level.

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40+FAB Blog

Make your bed

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

March 7, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

As I have listened to different talks and speeches to learn and be motivated to make more of myself and my life, there is one advice that got me thinking. “Make your bed first thing in the morning when you get up!”

This is a literal advice and not a metaphorical one like “As you make your bed, so you must lie on it”, and the thought behind it is that the act of making your bed gives you a sense of achievement which releases positive feelings that make you more eager to achieve more for the rest of the day.

The advice makes complete sense and a lot of people have attested to the fact that it has boosted thier personal productivity. The problem I have with that advice however is my wife. You see the advice doesn’t take into consideration that I am happily married and have a wife who sleeps in my bed and does not get up at the same time as I do. So how on earth can I make my bed in the morning without upsetting her?

I know it sounds hilarious, but I had to point it out because I have heard, not one, not two, but several speakers use this same advice. Maybe they meant it for single people only, I don’t know.

One must never feel pressured to take anyone’s advice without carefully weighing it up against thier personal circumstances. Any advice that doesn’t have the leeway to be applicable in more than one way is probably not very good advice. I think it is great advice to make your bed in the morning, but I would suggest to look for another bed to make if you are happily married and do not want to upset your spouse.

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40+FAB Blog

Practicing followership

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

March 6, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

One of the most important skills we can develop in life is that of leadership. The importance of it cannot be overemphasised. There is a biblical proverb that describes the enterprising nature of ants, who against all odds are very successful at surviving and even thriving in the harshest of conditions. It says that the ants have no ruler or overseer yet they are able to produce great results within the various seasons of the year.

This almost sounds like advice to discount the importance of leadership, but on the contrary it rather reinforces it. One of the big secrets of ants is that they are great at following. They follow one another, they follow a routine and a regimen, and they follow the guidance of seasons and their changes.

You see, the fundamental principle of leadership starts with followership. This is much like anything else we have learnt in life, we have to follow the experts to become competent ourselves, and the more intentionally we follow, the better we become.

One should never outgrow the place of followership, whether it is following others who have gone before us, ageless principles that are meant to guide us, or responding to the cyclical changes of times and seasons. The proverb on the ants doesn’t point out one leader possibly because they have all become a company of leaders.

Followership guarantees great leadership, and leadership guarantees great results.

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40+FAB Blog

Interpretation for interaction

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

March 5, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

The way we interpret life and the things around us will determine how we interact with it. Life is full of many signs which different people from different cultures and at different times have interpreted in a different way.

So, what could help our interpretation of the things we see? Understanding context is possibly one of the most important things we can learn. Things hardly happen without a precedence and a context. This also explains principles of cause and effect.

In marriage you come to understand that two people have very different contexts of love and life. My wife loves completing helpful tasks to show that she cares, I love spending time together either talking or in silence. Whenever I try to spend time with her and she goes off to do something helpful, I feel snubbed and resentful. Until we were able to interpret each others actions in terms of how we showed we cared, we were unable to interact in a way that was meaningful to each other.

Maybe it is time to rethink some of the difficult issues you are facing. Are you interpreting the situation correctly? Do you have the right context? Have you tried doing something differently based on a new understanding?

Get better at interpreting to become great at interacting.

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40+FAB Blog

If you couldn’t fail

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

March 4, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

“What would you do if you couldn’t fail?” You might have heard this famous question which is usually asked when trying to get people to think about what they would ideally like to be doing with thier lives.

Before I try to answer that question, let us look at failure from two perspectives. The first one is failure in terms of an attempt to achieve a goal, and the second is when a thing ceases to work properly. The first is a failure of aspiration, and the second is a failure of function.

Functional failure is limiting, but we have seen many rise above this kind of failure to achieve phenomenal things. There are great men and woman who through the ages have aspired to do great things in spite of blindness, deafness, lameness etc.

So the question would not make sense from a functional perspective as the failure of most of our functions cannot be controlled by us. People are born with functional failures, or are involved in an unforeseen circumstance like an accident which causes it.

Aspirational failures however are more in our control, but having said that, this is one area where we do need to fail, because failure leads to great learning that sharpens our aspirations and makes us better at planning for the future.

So what would you do if you could not fail? The answer is nothing. If you truly have not failed, you have not learnt anything, and if you have learnt nothing, then you are mostly like to produce nothing, or at best maintain whatever status quo you find yourself in.

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40+FAB Blog

Exception without a plan

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

March 3, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Whenever a good plan is put in place, there is always built in somewhere an exception to the plan. This is because life is full of unforeseen circumstances, and it doesn’t matter how great the plan is, things could still go wrong.

Sometimes we see people working an exception and it looks like they have pulled off a lucky feat without all the hassles of preparing for the situation. It appears like they just winged it and came out unscathed with excellent results. For this reason some have the philosophy of relying on the exception to produce results every single time.

Just like you cannot effectively plan without an exception, you cannot effectively execute an exception without a plan. They go together like day and night.

Whichever philosophy you choose to live by, you will be more effective in execution when you understand that you need both sides of the plan-exception cycle to be successful.

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