It is true that time waits for no one and in spite of what happens to you to prevent you from ‘making hay while the sun shines’, time will just keep moving on. When we have a good grasp of the concept of time, it helps us to plan and do all we can, when we can, to become all we are meant to be.

When life happens, as it normally would, we find ourselves struggling with burdens that disconnect us from moving as time moves. It could be a sickness, an injury, the death of a loved one, disappointment, depression, discouragement, natural disasters, a pandemic, and the list could go on. Time never says it understands and waits for you, it just keeps going.

One thing to note however is that time is a measure which has relevance because of people. If humans had no needs or purpose, then time would not be important to us. If we did not need to eat, then the farming seasons and cycles would not be important, or the time it takes to bake a great pie. If there was no purpose to build a just society, then the time to learn communication, leadership or strategy would make no sense.

If for any reason we ever fall out of sync with timing and get left behind, all is not lost, and we must resist the temptation to isolate from others, instead, we should cry out to people around us who will stop for us, care for us, and help us get back into purpose as they support our needs while we hurt.

Time waits for no one, but people do.

40+FAB Blog

When you own it

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 10, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

If you have ever gone from being an employee to an entrepreneur, you will be aware of the difference between what you consider to be someone else’s and what is yours. In a job, you can choose to switch off at your contractual end of day time. In your own venture however, there is a tendency to work almost at all hours around the clock.

The key thing in both scenarios is not whether you are employed by someone else or employed by yourself, it is all about how you see your ownership of what you are doing. It is a great attitude to always own what has been given to you to do. This is a great secret of progress because the level of care and attention you give to what you own will ensure you give it your best effort.

When you constantly give your best, people are bound to take notice whether it is your employers or your customers. Committed excellent service will always lead to a promotion in one way or another. Try taking this approach of owning things no matter how small and see what difference it makes.

40+FAB Blog

Love and duty

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 9, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

It is a great misconception to think that a successful relationship is all about the good feelings that are associated with love and friendship. Feelings can be fleeting and those that have reached the pinnacle in thier area of endeavour will be able to give you enough stories of when feelings had to be put aside in order to attain greater heights that beckoned.

We are used to the duty that a wife needs to perform in a marriage and all that she must give up, including her name, in order to be one with her husband. Sometimes, it almost seems like everything goes the man’s way, however, we find an excellent example of the love and duty that is required from a man also in the relationship between Her majesty, Queen Elizabeth of England and Prince Philip, who sadly passed away today.

We pay tribute to him and his great example, showing us that love requires giving up some things we long for, in order to show devotion, care, and support for the one we love. It is a great reminder that we do not only marry a person, but everything that they are and represent, and we have a responsibility, a duty, to let them fulfil that.

40+FAB Blog

Too late to help

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 8, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Have you ever thought about the fact that someone or something being late is a sign that help is needed? This is quite obvious especially for those known to have an impeccable record of punctuality. Late could mean they have a serious emergency, or are ill, or maybe hurt, or worse deceased. Even for the ardent late comer, there could be underlying issues causing thier lateness that have never been addressed.

Why not try delving a little deeper into the issue of lateness with yourself, but also with others on a personal and a professional level. Would you find procrastination, fear, lack of knowledge or awareness, illness, emotional turmoil, faulty business processes, having to do more than is possible, overwork, boredom, and much more to be the underlying issues?

If lateness is a sign that help is needed, then we should never be too late ourselves to help the ones we are judging for being late.

40+FAB Blog

Read, react, result

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 7, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

There is a process that has been taught to us all through our lives which sometimes is not recognised until it is called out. You notice it with babies where they are able to cry to get thier mothers attention. You may think that they are just being babies, but in reality they have learned to use what they have to get what they want.

I remember years ago when I had to take care of my nephew who was a few months old, as his mum left for work in the morning, he would cry a little and once she was out of sight he would calm down and spend the rest of the day with me quite content. I then noticed over a few days that as soon as he heard the key in the door, around the time his mum usually got home, he would burst out crying in dramatic fashion as if he had been in that state all day.

I soon realised that this child was reading the situation, reacting to it as appropriate and reaping the results he wanted. We are taught this principle in school, read the question, react with an answer, then you get a result, pass or fail. Where else have you identified that you apply this process?

It sounds simplistic, but it holds a lot of practical wisdom for our day to day lives when we learn to read, react and get a result.

40+FAB Blog

Message in a bottle

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 6, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Several stories, poems and songs have romanticised the message in a bottle. This was a letter written and placed in a water tight container and thrown into the sea in the hope that it would get across the shores and into the hands of someone who could respond to it. That message typically was a distress call for help, or details of an expedition, or even a collection of poetic writings.

As great and secure as a message is in a bottle, the message actually has no meaning in the bottle. Its relevance becomes apparent when it gets into the hands of people.

Have you ever considered yourself to be like that bottle which contains messages that need to be communicated to your world? There is much in you which has been carefully crafted and when revealed will give much meaning to the lives of others. It is worth noting that unlike the bottle at sea which is dependent on others finding it, you can be intentional about finding and releasing your message to those who need it.

Are you allowing yourself to just drift by on the seas of life, keeping your message to yourself? Or, have you realised that what is in you is meant to be expressed to your world? Have you studied the art of effective communication to release your message?

Always remember that the good you can do is never beneficial to others if you don’t make it available to them.

40+FAB Blog

It is still true

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 5, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

It is said that seeing is believing, and this is in tune with human nature as we tend to acknowledge the things we see as being real or true. Seeing affects our ability to believe, and belief is one of the key drivers of how we behave and interact with our world. However, just because we cannot see something, or we do not believe in its existence, does not invalidate that it is true.

What is true is true, and is not affected by our knowledge of it or belief. The importance of learning, research and the understanding that there are loads of things in this wide, wide , world that we do not know about is important for growth and progress in life. In 2020 when the COVID-19 pandemic hit, there were loads of people that said it was not real, and they never took any precautions. Some ended up paying the ultimate price for thier lack of care about the virus.

Don’t be too quick to dismiss things due to your own lack of knowledge and belief in it. Always remember that there is truth out there that you do not know about and when you do hear about it, you have a choice to find out more till you believe, or to walk away and forget about it. Whichever you choose will determine whether you are helped or hindered by that truth.

40+FAB Blog

No quacks please

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 4, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

I don’t know if you ever wonder why someone who is a fraud is called a quack. The word came from the Dutch language quacksalver and denoted someone who tried to solve real problems with false remedies, especially in the medical field.

One of the reactions of humans in the face of change is to deny it. This was researched for many years by psychologist, Kubler-Ross, who came up with a change lifecycle, which says that when we experience a ground-breaking change like the death of a loved one, our first reaction is shock, and then we move into a period of denial.

These same reactions have been found to be true with most other types of changes that are noticeable enough to the person going through them. This brings us back to the quack. When we go through real problems, we need real solutions and not false ones which feed our denial.

I remember as a teenager when I first broke out it pimples, it was a shock, and I did all I could to get rid of them, my denial left me with many creams and potions on my table which I applied diligently, but it never solved my problem. When I finally accepted this as part of puberty, I was able to handle it better.
In another scenario, I heard the sad case of a father who refused to bury his son for months because he believed that he would get up again.

When we are experiencing challenging changes in our lives, be it as serious as death, or something less important like a car needing repairs, we need help and support from people who know what to do, and who will offer us real solutions to our problems. We don’t need quacks to feed our denial and exploit our weakness at that point.

When you are looking for a solution, don’t let denial get in the way, and please do not employ the services of a quack.

40+FAB Blog

Wanting to quit

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 3, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

They say winners never quit and quitters never win, but I have to caveat that with the question, what exactly do you want to win at? Frankly speaking, it is not every battle that is worth your while, and those that don’t mean anything to you are very easy to quit.

The things that border on your life and indeed the core of what you believe your purpose to be are very hard to quit. Just try holding your breath to stop the necessary flow of oxygen into your system so you can quit respiration, then you will understand that it is not that easy to quit.

Somehow, we keep fighting for the things that we truly believe to be our purpose. If we are fighting for the wrong things, then we are believing the wrong things. If we are not willing to fight at all, or we give up easily, then we possibly have stopped believing.

If it is easy for you to pack it up and quit, then maybe it wasn’t actually right for you in the first place. There is therefore nothing wrong in wanting to quit if it doesn’t fall in line with what you should be doing.

40+FAB Blog

Who you want to be

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 2, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

If you were entered into a race, say a 5k run, consistency will help you complete that race, but speed would help you do it in good time. I heard something recently which made me realise that a habit is like running a race with a specified distance. In answer to the question, how long does it take to form a habit, the answer lies not in the time expected to form it, but in the consistent practice that will make that habit stick.

One of the pressures we create as humans is that of generalisation, and this creates a false focus in us. Yes, statistically most people are getting married before they are 30, so does this mean you have missed the boat at 35 or 40? I know from personal experience, and that of others, that at a point the focus becomes meeting the statistical age rather than being the right person, finding the right person and marrying for the right reasons.

So, who do you want to be? Are you feeling pressured that you have not become that person by the general timeline people expect? Has the pressure and expectation of others forced you to focus on finding a short cut to making it rather than working consistently and building yourself to get there?

The fastest man has run 100m in about 9.58 seconds, but it doesn’t mean that anyone who runs for about 10 seconds has completed a 100m race. You complete that race when you cross the finish line however long it takes. Those that do it faster dedicate more time and effort into building thier muscles and running techniques to achieve it. In the same vein, you will only become who you aspire to be when you have formed the right habits that will get you there. Just keep your focus on the right things and move consistently towards your goal.

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