40+FAB Blog

Who you want to be

If you were entered into a race, say a 5k run, consistency will help you complete that race, but speed would help you do it in good time. I heard something recently which made me realise that a habit is like running a race with a specified distance. In answer to the question, how long does it take to form a habit, the answer lies not in the time expected to form it, but in the consistent practice that will make that habit stick.

One of the pressures we create as humans is that of generalisation, and this creates a false focus in us. Yes, statistically most people are getting married before they are 30, so does this mean you have missed the boat at 35 or 40? I know from personal experience, and that of others, that at a point the focus becomes meeting the statistical age rather than being the right person, finding the right person and marrying for the right reasons.

So, who do you want to be? Are you feeling pressured that you have not become that person by the general timeline people expect? Has the pressure and expectation of others forced you to focus on finding a short cut to making it rather than working consistently and building yourself to get there?

The fastest man has run 100m in about 9.58 seconds, but it doesn’t mean that anyone who runs for about 10 seconds has completed a 100m race. You complete that race when you cross the finish line however long it takes. Those that do it faster dedicate more time and effort into building thier muscles and running techniques to achieve it. In the same vein, you will only become who you aspire to be when you have formed the right habits that will get you there. Just keep your focus on the right things and move consistently towards your goal.