Some say, “Seeing is believing”, while others say, “If you can see it, then you can have it”. So which of them is right?

Could the cup be half full or half empty? Is it a challenge or is it an opportunity? I guess it is the same type of people we find in the many different scenarios of life.

We would mostly react to life according to the way we see things and this determines our progress or lack of it. It therefore becomes important for us to pay attention to how we see and then what we see.

People that value antiques and the likes have trained their eyes to recognise the signs of a thing of value. To the untrained eye it may seem like rubbish, but to the expert, it is of great price.

How do you train your ability to see? One sure way to do this is to hang around people that have what you are aspiring to have and let them help you see what you need to see to be who you need to be and to have what you need to have.

40+FAB Blog

Lets talk about it

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 15, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

When we are filled with overwhelming thoughts of fear, anxiety, depression, disappointment, anger, resentment or anything else that weighs the heart down, one of the best things to do to get out of that toxic state is to talk about it.

You need to find someone who you trust and can confide in and let them know what you are thinking and how you are feeling. That right there is therapy and a great step towards getting out of those feelings. If you are unsure of who to talk to, try what I did in the mean time while you figure out the right person to speak with.

I remember back in university I had my heart crushed and the way it happened made me really angry and bitter against the lady that did this to me. I carried those dark thoughts around for weeks and never really talked to anyone about it. One day I felt like I was trapped in a prison of resentment and I was too embarrassed to talk to anyone about this, so I decided to write down my thoughts about the whole affair. I told the story of what I felt happened and how it made me feel.

After producing a lengthy manuscript of my woes, I looked over them and felt like a great burned was lifted off my shoulder. I felt free and forgiveness flowed from my heart. Not too long after this, I was able to make peace with the lady and we remained good friends for the rest of our time at Uni.

Don’t let yourself go down a dark spiral when the way out could be as simple as starting to talk about what’s weighing you down. Whatever it is, let’s talk about it and get the much needed relief from that pain.

40+FAB Blog

Tap your feet

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 14, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

My son discovered something new this week from watching so many movies. He said, “Did you know that when people are waiting that they tap their feet?” Interesting discovery that the tapping of the feet could be a sign of impatience as well as a passive urging of whoever we are waiting for to hurry up.

But, in a case where what we are waiting for is so unknown, would our impatience serve any purpose apart from frustrating us? I would suggests that the tapping of our feet be used for other purposes such as expressing creativity, vitality, thankfulness and joy in the art of the ‘tap dance’.

Tap your feet with the possibility of learning something new while you wait.

Tap your feet with the expectation of completing tasks that have been calling for attention for ages while you wait.

Ta your feet with the enjoyment of loved ones, strengthening relationships while you wait.

Tap your feet with the realisation that new opportunities are being discovered while you wait.

Tap, tap, tap your feet, but make sure it is to a rhythm and a dance that will make you fulfilled and not to the helpless beat of nothing happening.

40+FAB Blog

Find purpose, ditch process

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 13, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

I read some very interesting perspectives on the development of ‘new’ products. New becomes very debatable because the various iterations of products that come to the market are trying to solve the same old problem.

What problem does the mobile phone solve? To answer this question, think of the why. And no, the answer is not to look cool. Mobile phones, land phones, faxes, telegrams and the likes solve a communication problem.

Let’s talk about streaming services. What problem do they solve? You guessed right, it solves an entertainment problem. If you understand the problem statement which is based on a purpose, then you will not be tied to the process or the product that is put together to address that problem.

Hundreds of years ago, entertainment only happened at physical locations and so people would go to the theatre. The process to put on the performance was huge. Radio comes in, and the process changes and so does the product. TV comes, then video tapes, then DVD’s and we end up with streaming services. Each one has its own process and product and anyone that is stuck on the process and product of the old would have missed out on the opportunity of the new.

Take a step back and look into various areas of your life and uncover the problem statement that is linked to a purpose. Are there new enablers like advancements in technology that can help you solve this problem? If so, ditch the old process and product and reinvent your response based on purpose.

40+FAB Blog

Completion

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 12, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Everything that has a beginning must have an end, yet there are many abandoned projects that litter the pathways of our past.

Why do things get abandoned? Could it be that we were forced to stop, or ran out of resources to continue, or lacked the ability to really do it, or lost interest?

Maybe some things we started we should never have initiated in the first place as it did not truly align with who we are or our abilities. Or, could it be that we did not push through enough to see it out to the end?

The ability to complete is not an easy one, yet it is very necessary for progress in life. The alternative of abandoning stuff could easily become a habit that poisons everything that we do as we follow a path of least resistance and settle for a mediocre life.

Completion is necessary and if one follows through on whatever they find to do, they will soon learn what they should be doing and what they should not. A completer is more likely to be working in an area of their greatest strength and ability while a non-completer will be a jack of all trades and a master of none.

Dig down for your innermost strength of tenacity and complete all that is in your hand now. Do this regularly and watch as you naturally swing into your best zone where you will find your greatest progress.

40+FAB Blog

It’s taking up my time

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 12, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Have you heard of Parkinson’s Law on time? It states that “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” Let me use an example to clarify it. If you usually complete a monthly report for work in 2 hours, the moment you are given 4 hours to do it, then you suddenly find that it is taking you 4 hours to do something that was easily done in 2 hours.

Have you ever noticed that happening to you? If so, you have experienced Parkinson’s law. Maybe you have set some targets for what you want to do during this COVID-19 lock down period, or you are intending to catch up with tasks that you just had not had the time for when things were normal.
If you are in that boat, then you need to make Parkinson’s Law work to your advantage. Don’t think you have more time, because the basic everyday stuff that you do will expand to eat up that time.

Instead you need to identify all the things you need to do and force them into the schedule of all the other things, then you will find that time will somehow become more amicable to you completing all you planned to do.
Be on the look out and don’t let this time slip away from you on things that create no growth potential in your life.

40+FAB Blog

Don’t panic

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 11, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

I got an email today from a cyber criminal, the title of the email had the password of my email in it. They asked for a ransom of about $2000 so they would not reveal all my personal stuff to all my contacts.

After reading the email I began to panic and wonder what other details they may have stolen from any of my accounts. All kinds of thoughts raced through my mind as I contemplated the uphill task ahead of me to secure all of my digital presence.

I told my wife what happened and we talked through how this could have happened and what to do next. After calming down a bit and before taking any further action we agreed to consult Dr. Google.
Sure enough there was an article on what to do if one received a mail with their password in the heading.

I read through the article and it perfectly described my situation. The write up pointed out that it was not likely my most recent password. This made me go back to the email, and sure enough they had a password that was over a decade old. It was a well worked scam.

When things go horribly wrong, do all you can to quickly get over the initial panic and to a more rational state of mind as you start troubleshooting the next steps to take. This can save you from taking rash actions which may lead to the situation getting worse. A slightly delayed response that is the right one will turn out better than a rushed decision that is the wrong one. Whatever you do, remember, don’t panic!

40+FAB Blog

Chasing the day

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 9, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Have you ever had all your plans laid out in advance for the next day because you knew you had so much to do. You set a strict time table of when to start and when you would likely finish. You then get to bed on time to rest up and be ready for the morning.

Unfortunately, for some reason the alarm doesn’t ring at the time its supposed to. You wake up an hour later than planned and you start the new day behind schedule. You then find yourself chasing the day rather than running it.

I had one of those days today and I can’t wait for it to be over. So, the question is, how does one course correct when you start a day on the back foot? Firstly, these type of days should be the exception rather than the norm.

Learning to prioritise properly is an amazing skill to have and within it is the skill to reprioritise when there is not enough time to tick off everything on your list. Use this simple formula to help with prioritising and reprioritising. “Prioritise Properly on Purpose.”

Always have your purpose, your ‘why’ at the front of your mind. Let this be the thing that guides what you do. If you let purpose guide you, then your priorities will all be set to align you to fulfil your purpose. Ask yourself, what is the most important thing I can do today to fulfil my purpose? keep asking that until you prioritise or reprioritise all your tasks.

I have a purpose to write words that simplify truth and inspire others to action, so on a busy day when I am behind on tasks, I reprioritise and then sacrifice a meal time which is important, but not essential to fulfil my purpose for that day.

You get the picture. Prioritise properly on purpose and you will cease from chasing the day.

40+FAB Blog

Try kindness

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 8, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

I heard a story today that touched my heart. A couple that had been married for 60 years had the wife sick with COVID-19. She eventually passed away.

When the man returned home, 15 people from their local church had showed up outside his house at safe distances apart to sing hymns to him and express their condolences and support. The old man came out of his front door and listened and wept.

At certain points in human history, background, social status, race, political views and such ideologies fade into insignificance. All we are left with is the ability to touch another human being in a meaningful way, showing solidarity and support that we are all in this together.

At this time, let us not pass on the opportunity to show kindness to our fellow man in anyway that we can.

40+FAB Blog

What’s needed daily?

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

April 8, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

There are just some things that you can never stock up on no matter how hard you try. For instance, have you ever tried to eat a very big meal to last you for a day? Maybe that worked, and then you decided to eat a bigger meal to last you for a week!

No matter how much you eat, you will eventually get hungry and have to eat again, usually within a day. Same goes for drinking or even sleeping.
There are just some things in life that must be done daily and routinely too.

It not only works for physical necessities, but mental and emotional capacities need daily attention too. Thinking loads of positive thoughts today does not guarantee that you will be positive tomorrow. Feeling and expressing love today, does not guarantee the same for tomorrow.

So just like with eating, we have to plan every aspect of our life to get the attention that it needs on a daily basis. Positive thinking, planning, renewing vision, loving family, learning, exercising, and such activities need to be scheduled on a daily basis.

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Have you seen it?

Lets talk about it

Tap your feet

Find purpose, ditch process

Completion

It’s taking up my time

Don’t panic

Chasing the day

Try kindness

What’s needed daily?