We are usually very quick to shut down any inconvenience in our surroundings. When a fly buzzes past, we instinctively swat at it as if to say go away, or we clap our hands to try and get rid of that mosquito and its irritating sound in our ear. I know I have spent hours before looking for that cricket which seemed to be chirping somewhere in my house.

The same is true for a host of other inconveniences that we shut down, like the opinion of others we do not agree with, or the complaint made about our product or service.

One of the secrets to discovering more, learning and improving is to stop and ask ourselves why, especially when things do not play out as we expect them to. Think about many of the breakthroughs of science and how someone persisted to find out what no one else cared or bothered to pay attention to.

Let us learn to give things a little bit of thought and exercise patience in our attitude before we react and push them so far away from us that we miss out on an opportunity to learn something that we otherwise would never have known.

40+FAB Blog

On the knife’s edge

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

October 12, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

I realised that my wife and I had been living on a knife’s edge for a while where we could not afford for one stream of income to fluctuate ever so slightly as it could shut us down financially.

Living on the knife’s edge is not a nice place to be and we would rather avoid it. We however learnt in the same situation that our focus was sharpened and our resolve to succeed was strengthened more than ever. I heard Simon Sinek say, “Success could allow you to be lazy and wasteful. Crisis however allows you to get back to a place of intentionality, efficiency and effectiveness.”

Crisis shows up uninvited and presents us with slippery conditions like ice on a well frozen lake, but just like a man cannot make much progress moving on the slippery ice with his feet, once he gets on the knife’s edge of some ice skates, then he is able to navigate that ice much faster than his feet could ever take him.

The fastest speed achieved on ice skates has been about 56 mph, almost twice as fast as the speed of the fastest man or a cheetah. The clumsiness one can experience on ice dissolves into graceful dexterous movements when on the knife’s edge.

Are you forced into a situation right now where you are trying to balance things on the edge? Now is the time to change your paradigm, increase your focus and resolve, then let your knife’s edge be the instrument to give you speed and ability to gracefully manoeuvre your situation until you get to the place of enlargement.

40+FAB Blog

Are you confused?

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

October 11, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

No one likes to be confused and we do all we can to avoid a state of confusion. When we get into new situations or experience change, there is a lot of ambiguity which we have to deal with so as to come to terms with the change, this is what brings confusion.

We deal with it either by holding on to what we are familiar with, or we figure out what is unclear and work through it until we learn how to adapt to the new situation.

I listened to an expert on learning recently and he said, before every new learning, there is a state of confusion, and that confusion is key for learning new information.

Don’t run away from a state of confusion, for it is actually a powerful stimulus to get you learning new information that you would otherwise have missed out on. Use those moments of uncertainty to drive beneficial changes in any areas of your life it touches.

40+FAB Blog

Plan to action

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

October 10, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Do you ever get that feeling that you are not ready to start what you would really love to be doing? You have researched, spoken to friends about it, gone on courses, trialled doing it as a hobby or part time thing, but you are not yet at that point where you feel you can launch it to the world.

Here is some advice that may help you a little. Try going to an event where someone who has started that thing you are trying to do, and is successful at it, is speaking. Listen to their story, listen for what they know. You may find that you know as much as they do. The one key difference between you and them is that they are doing it.

What you need right now is a plan to action right away. Start by getting yourself out there, networking and building relationships. Ask questions from those who are in the game, and take note of the minimum things that need to be in place to start. Pick a date and just start.

Don’t overthink it, don’t overanalyse it, because you have already done all the thinking and analysing in the last few months or years when you were considering it. Keep your plan simple and put yourself out there, then hit the ground running.

40+FAB Blog

Accessing others perspectives

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

October 9, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

Do you rely solely on your own Our view of the world is too limited to be anywhere near accurate, there are billions of us on the planet and each one is quite unique, so in the grand scheme of things, the opinion of one person is like a drop of water in the ocean.

We can live a fuller life and increase in every part of our effectiveness if we learn the power of accessing other people’s perspectives.

Do you seek the opinion of others or do you figure out your plans alone? Have you been open to it when others disagree with your perspective? Accessing other peoples perspective might be the master plan you need to take what you have to a whole new level.

40+FAB Blog

Be! then do

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

October 8, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

As we grow through life, we change from one state to another. From the womb we change from a foetus to become a baby, then we change to become a toddler, then we become a teenager, then we become an adult.

When the body seemingly stops growing, the mind still has the capacity to take in more and we can become an expert in those things we have studied.

In all of this, we have to become something before we behave like what we have become. We have to be before we do. Doing in itself cannot make us what we are not, for instance no matter how much a goat acts like a dog, it will never be a dog, and vice versa.

The beauty about becoming is that what we become was in us all the time, it was locked away in our being and had to go through a process of training and growth to come out. The word educate is from a Latin word which means to draw out something, so the real purpose of an education is to draw on who we be so that we can do.

Take a look again at who you be, and let that picture encourage you to do what you were born to do.

40+FAB Blog

Not perfect, only excellent

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

October 7, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

I heard a quote today which made me jump out of my seat, “Perfection is a very low standard because it is no standard, because perfection can never be reached” – Anthony Robbins.

Rather than aim for perfection, we should aim for progression. This is why being excellent trumps perfection any day. Excellence means going beyond what is considered the standard. I could exceed by an inch, or a mile, but wherever I land past what was considered the standard, I have made progress, I have excelled.

Little progressions everyday over many years leads to astounding results. The automobile of 100 years ago is a far cry from what automobiles today can do. Someone would have called it perfect then, but it wasn’t because something better was added. In the next 100 years, the automobiles then would be incomparable to what we have now because someone will find a way to make it better.

Striving for perfection can stifle us, but excellence will keep us growing and accomplishing astounding things.

40+FAB Blog

The burden of freedom

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

October 6, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

The human being was not designed to be kept in bondage to anything or anyone, that is why the human spirit always craves freedom and resists every form of oppression that tries to curb it.

There is however another side of freedom which some who fight for it are unaware of and not able to come to grips with. Freedom comes with the burden of responsibility and accountability for it. Those who can’t handle it usually fall back into that bondage they fought so hard to come out of.

As a teenager, I couldn’t wait to get out of my parents house so I could be free. I soon discovered that my freedom required the responsibility of managing myself and my resources. I had to start earning, saving, planning, taking care of bills for myself and a host of other things.

While we prepare to go to another level of freedom in any area of life, we must prepare ourselves for the responsibility that comes with that freedom. This is indeed crucial for us to be able to thrive in our new freedom and ensures we do not regress into previous limitations.

40+FAB Blog

It’s ok to disagree

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

October 5, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

In the time of my childhood, we were told, “Children are meant to be seen and not heard.” We were taught not to argue or disagree with an adult as their views were right.

What was subtly passed across to us was that disagreeing was being disagreeable. This created an outlook for us which meant that it was not ok to challenge the perspective of others, especially that of an older or more experienced party.

Nothing could be further from the truth because no two individuals will agree on all things at all times. It is the nature of free will to make us take a position which is appealing to us even though it may be at odds with the choice of others. This is what makes us humans, and history has shown that whenever there were attempts to suppress the ability of people to disagree, it has always created rebellion and a group of disagreeable people.

Conversely, where the freedom has been given for people to express their views, there has been more progress and innovation in those societies. People understand that they can disagree without being disagreeable and this fosters more harmony within the community.

Do you feel free to disagree? Do you feel guilty for having an opinion that differs from others? You are entitled to your own opinion and to progress with yourself and with others you must accept that it is ok to disagree.

40+FAB Blog

Hoarding permission

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

October 4, 2020

- 40+FAB Blog

I remember way back in the day when I helped a friend out with math lessons towards an exam, we had covered all the areas of study required for the exam and she had a good understanding of what needed to be done and I was sure she could pass the exams easily, but I never said it to her.

I set off to university before that exam and when I came back at the end of the semester, I learnt my friend had failed the exam. I asked what happened and she told me that she did understand what we studied really well, but somehow expected me to say it as it would have boosted her confidence for the exam.

Since then, I have been more generous with my affirmation to people I have taught or helped to understand one thing or the other. I also learnt that somehow people we have influence with silently crave our permission to do certain things, not because they need it to be effective, but somehow it lifts a lid on their ability to achieve more than they would have without it.

The onus therefore lies on us to ensure that those who trust us and look up to us in one way or the other, know very well that we are rooting for them and do expect them to be their best in whatever they decide to pursue. We should be generous with our affirmations to them and never hoard giving them permission where they have entrusted us with that privilege.

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Stop and ask why

On the knife’s edge

Are you confused?

Plan to action

Accessing others perspectives

Be! then do

Not perfect, only excellent

The burden of freedom

It’s ok to disagree

Hoarding permission