40+FAB Blog

Smiling outside, dying inside

I am sure we are all used to pretending, and have done so at one point or the other. Something funny happened to me the other day and I can’t help laughing at myself for how I displayed my pretence.

I had a really bad tummy ache and an infection on my toe. I was in so much pain that I had to go to the clinic to see a doctor. When I got there, the doctor that was assigned to me looked like a picture of perfection, she asked me what was wrong and I told her about my tummy ache. After the examination and prescription she asked if there was anything else, I then thought to myself “there is no way I will let this babe see my toe”, then I answered, “No”. When I got home, I told my wife what happened and we both had a good laugh.

Thinking back on that incident, it struck me that when we do have areas where we need help, we sometimes do not tell the trusted expert who can help us, the full details of our situation so that we do not look that bad.

We have a tendency to pretend, and in our own thinking we are trying to preserve what we feel is a bit of our self dignity, but then we lose out on having the real issue resolved. You know what I am talking about when you get into an argument with a friend, colleague or spouse and then you are telling your side of the story to a third party. There is a temptation to leave out the bits that could identify your pride or anger or pettiness.

I thought to myself, if I am doing this, then I am sure others have done the same. My advice to anyone who has an issue would be this, always share the full story, never leave out details that make yourself look better, otherwise, you will end up saving face and smiling on the outside while you are really dying on the inside.