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40+FAB Blog

Sometimes when we get mentally tired we try to push things that task us over the line with as minimal effort as we can spare.

I remember my undergraduate final year project. I was running out of time and had not finished the conclusions on my paper and it got to a point where I had to make a decision to hand it in incomplete or miss the deadline. I was tired and looked for the path of least resistance to copy and paste a conclusion I had not really thought about.

I knew that if I did that it could adversely affect my grade, so I took an extra day to complete my work thus missing the deadline for submission at the school’s office. The consequence of that was I would be marked as not completing and would be asked to repeat the project the following year. For some reason I found the boldness to enquire about where the external examiner marking our work was residing. I then made a trip to his accommodation and submitted copies of my work, he looked shocked but he took it.

I thought he might raise it with the school authorities that he had a late submission, but he didn’t. My work was graded and I passed. I was so relieved that my gamble paid off.

I can think of other times I gave in to my mental apathy and paid the price for it.
There are just some things that have to be processed and understood in your own mind before you agree to them. Take contracts you sign for instance, the legal wordings can be so cumbersome and the person selling will assure you that you have nothing to worry about. However, you can fall pray to a wrong deal as sometimes the sales person is just following a script and has no clue of the implications.
You must process it, and you must make the decision, it’s all on you. If there is ever a dispute that gets to a legal hearing, you will be found liable as you signed off on it.

Never let important decisions in any matter of your life bypass the process of coming from your own mind. It will save you a lot of heart ache and give you peace of mind in the days that follow.

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40+FAB Blog

Can you remember the first time you were left out of the invite to an event that you really wanted to go to? Maybe it was that party by the popular kid at primary school. I know how awful it felt to have been left out and how that created future anxiety and fear of missing out (fomo).

Fomo is a much talked about thing these days as people compare what they are about to do with what some other people are doing, and then decide if they are missing out on the fun others are having.

The reality is that fomo can rob you of actually enjoying you. What makes anything fun? Is it the activity itself or the value of the company? Within that company are people who are the life of the party. It is those people who create the fun that others want to be part of.

Stop giving in to fomo and rather than wait to be a part of someone else’s fun, why not become the epicentre of your own fun? People who love their life and show much enjoyment in living have a magnetic personality that draws others to them.

If you focus on enjoying you and where you are in life, you will become the type of person others want to be around and there will be an immunity to the fear of missing out.

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40+FAB Blog

Motivation is a great way to get people to do stuff that they are supposed to do. I have two boys and have had to develop the art of motivation by giving rewards that measure up to the tasks they are being asked to do.
If they get all their work done, they get extra time to watch their favourite programme or a small treat.

There is a point where the thing used to motivate can turn into a tool to manipulate. This can be instigated by the motivator or the motivated. I laugh when my sons come back to tell me that I should give them their sweets so they can do their work, if I give in to them, then I have changed motivation into manipulation.

I could also be the one that changes the bar by offering them the sweets so that they give me some peace and quiet, so I am not doing it for their good, but for my comfort.

The problem with turning the point of motivation into manipulation is that the reward will keep growing bigger and bigger feeding a defective habit to the point that it cannot be sustained. At that time things get out of control and it ends badly for everyone.

Work on the fine balance of keeping people motivated for their own good and never manipulated for your own comfort.

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40+FAB Blog

I am not sure why it was so popular on the play ground, but all the kids seemed to love the merry-go-round. It was not one of my favourite rides as I totally detested the nauseating feeling after being spun around for a while.

The merry-go-round can go really fast and give a real thrill of moving, but you are circling the same place with the same people doing the same thing, and if done for a long time it can make you sick literally.

So, what part of your life is on the merry-go-round? Have you noticed that you are doing the same thing, with the same people, not making any progress? The situation makes you sick, but you put up a merry act so as not to offend your crew and you keep going around.

At some point, you need to make a decision and walk off. You have to find the thing that will give you true meaning and progress in life. Who knows, you may just inspire your crew to do the same. Don’t get stuck on a merry-go-round, there is too much possibility out there that needs you to make it happen.

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40+FAB Blog

The principle of sowing and reaping teaches us a fair bit about life.
There is a time to make an investment and then there is the waiting period for that investment to yield a return.

If you have a long term friend, partner, team mate, colleague, business, project etc. you would have noticed the cycle of how these relationships or ventures yield greater pleasure and benefits after a season of investment.
Your deepest friendships are the ones that stuck through your most trying times, your greatest successes are the ones that overcame the biggest obstacles. This was due to the intentionality of what was invested in them.

The thing about investments or sowing seed is that there is a time period between sowing the seed and reaping the harvest. So what do you do in that time period?

Keeping a good attitude is possibly the greatest test of the waiting period. There was a third man involved with Apple in the early days who sold his 10% share of the company for $800. Being the oldest in the team and having the most assets, he did not want to loose any of his assets in case the company went bust. This lack of belief has made him miss out on the value of that 10% which today would be around $95 billion.

So what do you do in the mean time? Work on your attitudes while waiting. Work on patience, belief, honesty, cooperation, understanding, hard work, learning, personal growth, leadership, communication, encouragement and more.

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40+FAB Blog

I learnt the importance of feedback in an electronic system in one of my final year modules at university. The ability of that system to respond to random impulses from its environment is what made it a smart system. Today we are seeing a rise in robotics and artificial intelligence and the emergence of autonomous systems. All these are based on that principle of a system being able to respond to feedback.

The interesting thing about these electronic systems being built today is that they are all designed to mimic a living being. Living things react to stimulus, that is one of our big characteristics. We are constantly sensing what is around us as we pick up impulses and react. If it’s too cold, we seek something warm, it we feel pain we move away from it.
The ability for us to react to feedback from our environment has been crucial to our biological preservation.

So, why don’t we apply these same principles to every area like career, business, relationships, ideas, raising children and all else?
The feedback loop should never be closed. Yes I know sometimes we shut down when people want to cripple us through their feedback, but rather than shut down, what we need are robust responses to clear out that loop of toxic infiltration just like you would avoid getting close to an open flame.

Feedback is important for everything we do so let’s view it as the stimulus that helps us to react appropriately so that we can navigate our various courses of life successfully.

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40+FAB Blog

Gaining the status or the perks of growing up can be very exciting. For instance, it was a big deal among my peers back then to be able to drive once we hit the age of 17. Learning to drive was exciting, getting the car all to yourself and going out with the boys or girls was even more exciting.

I remember wanting to drive everywhere when I first learned to drive, I did not mind chauffeuring my parents wherever they wanted to go. Sometimes this meant sitting and waiting in the car for many hours while they went about their business. I can’t imagine doing that now as I get very uptight even if I had to wait 10 mins for my wife when I have driven her to the shop.

The perks of being a grown up are not an end of pleasure in themselves but rather are enablers. It is only maturity that can teach us to take such pleasurable experiences and use them as a means to fulfil the greater purpose for our lives. After all, as cool as driving is, no one would seek to aimlessly be behind the wheels for most of their days. The skill must be developed into something like a race car driver, or used as a way to deliver other skills, like a taxi driver.

It is a great feeling to have a grown up freedom like driving, but just like arsenal in a soldiers possession, it must be used as a means to fulfil an assignment. Understand what enablers you have picked up through your growing up years and deploy them appropriately for greater impact in your life.

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40+FAB Blog

A broken clock they say is right at least twice in a day. Being right as a one-off or winning the same way is not a real victory.
A true win is in the ability to consistently produce the same type of results over and over again.

A one-off win is like the principle of luck, it can happen to anyone at any time for any reason or no reason. Investors would tell you that you need to follow trends, study markets and exercise patience. This art of watching to see what produces consistent results distinguishes the winners from the losers.

Work on your ability to produce your best results time and time again. It takes time, it requires patience, it demands belief, it honours hard work, it grows with consistency.
Doing this will ensure that you get to the place of a true winner and not one who relies on the one-off’s.

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40+FAB Blog

It seems like the most logical thing to do when you are not quite sure of where you are going, but like the joke about men who would rather get lost than to ask for directions especially when their wife is there, we stumble around to any destination instead of asking for directions.

If you have ever had a dream about something, chances are there is a way to make it a reality. Sometimes the way to get there does not completely lie within us and we must seek help from another who is not quite there or even going there, but has an idea of where there is.

In asking for directions, it’s not everyone who can help you and you need to quickly learn how to sift those that know from those that pretend to know.
Do your home work and be clear of where you want to get to, do your home work on those you are asking for directions. How long have they been in the area? Have they ever successfully pointed out the way to others? Are they able to describe landmarks from where you are coming and where you are going?

If you ask for directions from the right people, you are sure to progress to your destination and get there sooner rather than later.

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40+FAB Blog

Sometimes we get so stuck in our day to day life such that we become the person that is unable to see the wood from the trees.

When we work and work and get to a point of frustration where nothing seems to be moving further, it is possibly time to take a step back, relax, walk away from it all, have a cup of coffee and then come back to it.

The man who invented the post it notes was trying to make proper glue, it didn’t work and so he went home and came back to it the next day. It then occurred to him that the glue which didn’t work had another application. The rest they say is history.

What is not working for you right now? take a step back for a while and come back to it with a fresh pair of eyes and mind, you could actually be on to the next big thing.

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