At some point in life, we will get things wrong either for lack of knowledge or making a mistake on what we do know. When that happens, we will need correction to get back on the right course.

The problem is that so many times what was meant to be a correction turns out to be punitive rather than rehabilitative. I am sure you can remember enough scenarios from your childhood that caused you to dread making any mistakes for the fear of being disciplined for it.

Mistakes in life are inevitable and correction is non-negotiable if we are to attain anything worthwhile. There needs to be a conscious effort to expel the fear of correction from our minds. For those with children, it is imperative to distinguish correction from punishment so that they grow up with a healthy sense of the benefits of being corrected.

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The challenge

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

February 19, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Challenge is not necessarily a bad thing when you come to realise the motivation for the challenge in the first place. People usually place a challenge for genuine reasons to them.

I love to explain things because that is one of my core gift areas, but I find that there are about 3 types of audiences who listen. There are those who will believe every word you say because you are the speaker. There is a challenge here on your integrity because this audience makes it easy for you to say stuff without and need to cross check if it right or wrong.

There is another type of audience who want the details of everything you have to say, this is the perfect audience for the teaching style that loves to explain. They make the preparation for the presentation worth it. And finally, we have the impatient group, they want you to get to the point quickly without waffling on.

All three groups come with a unique kind of challenge to the presenter, and if their challenge is taken on board, then it makes the speaker quite thorough, concise and interesting to listen to. There are challenges we face everyday in every single area, so, have you investigated the reasons for the challenge? If you do, then you are well on your way to becoming seasoned and effective in that area of expertise.

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When less is more

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

February 18, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

There is a vegetable commonly eaten in West Africa which is known to have many medicinal benefits (Antioxidative and Chemopreventive). It is called the bitter leaf because of its bitter taste.

To prepare this vegetable for consumption, the bitterness has to be washed out, until almost completely gone, then it can be used in making soups and stews. In order to enjoy the bitter leaf as a meal, less is definitely more.

I learnt early as a child that the volume of my voice was particularly loud and it was always pointed out to me. I never understood the objections and just thought people were trying to shut me up. When I came to realise that people responded to me better when I lowered my voice, I started practicing how to speak more quietly. Less proved to be more.

What do you have a lot of in terms of attitude, character, possessions, etc? What do you need to tone down? What can you get rid of to make you a more efficient and productive person? This is not at all suggesting to get rid of strengths or play them down, it is however encouraging you to understand what you have and how best to serve it in a way that it can be received to the benefit of others.

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Assessment

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

February 17, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Another name for assessment is test, or examination. We have all taken one at some point or the other. But what is the true benefit of a test? If preparation in school is anything to go by, tests were an exercise of being able to remember information for long enough to put it down on the answer sheet.

Assessment in its truest sense should be about finding out the state of the one being assessed with the aim of being able to offer them what they are lacking. Just like we would assess a situation to know what needs to be done next, people need to be assessed to know how to help them next.

With this understanding, we should have a deeper sense of purpose for assessments. Rather than let the fear of being assessed overtake us and paralyse us from benefitting from the experience, let us think of it as the opportunity to discover what to do next, where to improve, or how to help another.

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Wealthy state of mind

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

February 16, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

I have been doing a study from the beginning of the year on creating a sustainable and stable inflow of finances to meet the basic needs of the family. It has been pleasant to discover and be reminded of a few things that do not put wealth out of the reach of the average person.

One of the key things that has really stood out for me is the advice of a number of super wealthy people alluding to the fact that being wealthy is a behaviour driven by a state of mind.

The love for people and being interested in helping them solve problems, the ability to form relationships and be likeable, a state of contentment and gratitude with what you have or achieve, and much more similar advice were nuggets that were shared.

You are not going to behave like this when you become wealthy, it is this type of wholesome behaviour that gets you to a state of wealth. To really prosper is more about you becoming a better person, imbibing better values as you go along. This is where true wealth starts.

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Lovely day

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

February 15, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

It was one of those days where a time of quiet reflection first thing in the morning produced an abundance of peace and clarity of mind for what needed to happen for the rest of the day.

Reading on the habits of highly successful people, you always find secrets that they employ to get the best out of thier day. Must you do exactly what they do? I don’t think so, however, adopting those principles – like the morning routine – and making them your own will help you achieve your own form of success.

The morning routine is quite a significant one because it helps set the tone of your day either positively or negatively. So what are the things you do in the morning that seem to kick start your most optimistic self for the day? For some, it is exercise, for others it is reading, some have a quiet time others go for a walk. Whatever it is you do, make sure you use that time to pre-empt the rest of your day.

From experience, days don’t always go as we plan, but they could go a whole lost worse in the absence of any form of a plan. Find yourself a workable morning routine and set yourself up to benefit from what could be a truly lovely day.

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Keep your enemies closer

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

February 14, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

I am sure you have heard the saying, “keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.” Most people would not dream of having anything to do with an enemy, but just because you don’t, doesn’t mean others would not.

Some people who have an agenda and therefore employ strategies to get ahead in fulfilling thier goals will keep tabs on others they consider to be competitors or enemies, so they are kept abreast of what thier ‘enemy’ is up to and are adequately informed to employ counter measures to keep ahead of them.

Is it possible that there are friends in you circle who are actually keeping you close because they consider you an enemy? Or do you have enemies in your circle that you are keeping close as friends?

Whichever category you find yourself in, you must remember the golden rule, “treat other people as you would want to be treated”. Walking with this value will always keep you in a place of valuing people and it will compel you to employ strategies to treat people with every care. Finally, it is hard to make an enemy of anyone who places value on you.

Choose your philosophy for dealing with people wisely as this will determine what strategies you employ to make meaningful strides towards your desired goals.

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Your opinion doesn’t count

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

February 13, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

I read something the other day which made so much sense and sealed my understanding on when an opinion actually counts. The gist of it was that if a friend, associate or partner came up to you to ask your opinion about something they had just purchased, that opinion would not really count, because, if they truly needed your opinion, they would have consulted you before they actually bought it. At that point, they are looking for a sympathetic ear to validate the decision made, and not a critical view on what had been purchased.

We must then be able to ascertain from conversations if our opinions are truly needed or if they won’t count at all. There is no need expressing an opinion, as true as it may be, if it is not solicited thus causing tensions between you and the other party.

There will be more than enough opportunities when people will genuinely seek your advice, so be prepared for those moments, and be certain to avoid the scars that can come from expressing an opinion that doesn’t really count.

40+FAB Blog

Delayed gratification

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

February 12, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

The practice of delayed gratification is one of the old time secrets of building wealth. This does not apply to finances only, but to other areas of life also.

Today I was reminded of the importance of this. I had the choice to upgrade my business phone line at a certain cost and have the phone delivered within 3 days. After a bit of research, I found that I could actually get the same type of deal for about £400 cheaper, but the caveat was I would have to wait at least two weeks to get the device. It sounds like a no brainer, but I wrestled with the desire to get that phone now so I could get immersed in this new piece of exciting technology. I however let common sense win that battle.

Even though I would not necessarily enjoy the wait until the new phone is delivered, I have saved my business a good sum which could be invested in something else.

We need to go back to the place of practicing delayed gratification in all our decision and set our minds on the benefits that we can have in the future which are far greater than the pleasures we can enjoy now.

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Optimism isn’t blindness

By Olaolu Faj Opebiyi on

February 11, 2021

- 40+FAB Blog

Optimism they say is the faith that leads to achievement, and nothing can be done without hope and confidence. As I have grappled with the concept of faith over the years and its importance in guiding one to a better outcome than present difficult circumstance, I have listened and learnt from different speakers on the subject.

As with all learning, there could be a fault in our ability to grasp concepts either because it is taught wrongly, or we understood it wrongly. I was left with the impression that faith denied what existed, almost like wishing the problem away. In other words, I equated my optimism with a blindness to the problem.

When I learned how optimism truly worked, I changed my approach. For instance, when I bought my first property the developers had not laid any grass in the garden and when I inquired, it was going to cost a few hundred pounds I had not budgeted for, so I left it. My old idea of optimism would have been to tell myself “You do not have a bare garden” while ignoring and refusing to think of my problem, hoping that somehow it would change. However with better understanding, I told myself, “The garden is bare but I will somehow find the means to have the grass laid”. To cut the story short, my family and I had to go away on a pre-booked vacation. When we came back, there was grass in the garden. I called the site manager to say I hadn’t ordered it and to find out if I was liable to pay. He came over personally to say that the workmen had laid the grass on my property in error thinking it was the property on the opposite end of the development, and that I need not pay for anything.

True optimism always acknowledges the reality of the situation on ground, but it keeps believing that one would find a way to get the best outcome in spite of that situation.

Exercise true faith and optimism today by investigating the facts of your situation, understanding the options that could get you out of it, committing yourself to at least one of the options to get out of it, and finally hoping for the best as you begin to move in that direction. Whether the change comes by a miracle along the way or by your hard work, it will come and you will be the better for it.

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Fear of correction

The challenge

When less is more

Assessment

Wealthy state of mind

Lovely day

Keep your enemies closer

Your opinion doesn’t count

Delayed gratification

Optimism isn’t blindness