40+FAB Blog

Move beyond don’t

A UCLA survey from a few years ago, reported that the average one year old child hears the word, ‘No!’ more than 400 times a day! It may sound like a crazy number, but it is true.
As a parent with two very boisterous boys, I found that I was spending the better part of my time with them telling them ‘No!’, ‘Don’t!’, ‘Stop!’
One day it really struck me how much I expressed to them what I didn’t want.

Children are explorers and they want to experiment, with loving direction, they will learn, grow and improve on what we teach them. Always saying no shuts them down and takes away initiative and creativity from them.
There are times when we need to say no, but it should be in reasonable proportions and not the only thing they hear.

I am making it a habit to tell them more of what I want to see and not what I don’t want to see. I am learning patience to ask them what they think is the right thing to do, and then take the time to educate them on what it should be if they get it wrong. It’s hard work, but it’s work well worth it.

I suspect that the adults around us in our relationships, at home, at work and leisure would warm up a little bit more to us if we practiced the same thing of telling them what we actually want and move beyond expressing what we don’t want.