Maybe you have heard this or even practiced it yourself. “We judge others by thier actions, but ourselves by our good intentions”. When others perform poorly or in a way that is a threat to us, we are not only reading thier actions, but what we feel is the motive behind those actions.
While growing up, my mum got to deal with a few two faced people, from the stories she would tell, I got the message that it was important to be wary or certain people and thier motives. Over the years, I have found myself doing the work of a motive detective, and as important as it is to do our due diligence and not blindly walk into situations that could hurt us, we cannot afford to become preoccupied with other peoples motives.
Because we cannot fully understand even our own motives, it is not a good use of our time trying to second guess that of others. Spend time rather to understand your own motives for doing things and put your best effort into turning your good intentions to good actions.
We were not cut out to be the motive police, instead, we should learn how to judge character thoughtfully and fairly. We must also learn to identify our inner biases like jealousy, insecurity, bigotry etc., that cloud our judgement of others. We can gain a little more productivity and joy in life from giving up the burden of proving other peoples motives.