40+FAB Blog

Finding the right group

Grouping is a very effective way to sort things out quickly, systematically and correctly. If you have ever had to sort out a pile of anything whether it were socks or thoughts, cutlery or jewellery, books or hooks, you will agree that having a system to sort them out always helped. The order created by placing things in the right grouping is always worth the effort of going through that exercise.

With things, it is easy to sort them out with precision on the basis of colour, material, size etc. and our rational can be quite objective. However, we must be more careful when it comes to people as humans are too varied to be labelled and our analysis may turn out to be wrong because it is at best subjective.

Having said that, it is great to be part of a group to bring some kind of order and effectiveness into your life that you would otherwise not have access to striving on your own, and our similarities should lie along the lines of our values and interests more than any other attribute.

A problem exists where some group does all it can to make you fit into what they perceive is the way everyone in that group should be, and they will tend to despise your unique qualities and different ways of thinking or doing things. Whenever you are made to feel less appreciated and valued for who you are in a group, you are probably in the wrong place.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a place for challenge where being part of a group makes it clear that you need to improve, not because you are less than anyone, but because they have shown you that you can be more than you are currently accepting of yourself.

The one group tries to constrain you and hold you back in what they are used to, while the other group liberates you to be the best you can be. Choose your groups wisely and be ready to walk out of any group that is holding you back purely for thier own interests.